Homework issues

Just an update! I was messaging with mom and she can’t believe what a difference she’s seeing, she’s almost wondering if it’s for real! here is what she said “He actually woke up and started getting ready for school… I swear to GOD that child has never woke up in the morning… and has gotten ready for school in his 15 little years of life.

I swear normally I have to yell at him 10 times before he wakes up and he moves like a turtle… I don’t know if it’s the SleepTalk or what…” and then “and when I got home from work last night he was sitting at the kitchen table doing HOMEWORK and that is rare… he even showed me his Math work and when I walked in I was a bit stressed and I looked at him and it clicked and ‘S’ [her daughter 18 yrs. old] comes running in saying geez you haven’t done that since the 3rd grade… it was just so weird!!”


ST SleepTalk (Intern) Consultant Dana US – 2014

Handwriting improvement

Consultant feedback: I Just got a lovely feedback from one of the ladies who attended a presentation I gave a few months ago. She applied the 5 magic sentences and as a result, her child had been much calmer and also, started to hand write much better, “very beautiful”.
Another sweet effect of the SleepTalk Process!

ST Accredited Consultant – Eugen Popa – Romania 2014

Improvement at school and in sport

Consultant report: Parents used the SleepTalk™ process for both their children, their son aged 9 and their daughter aged 6, to improve their confidence. I worked with ‘E’ on her own. However, she taught her husband the process and they took turns in doing the nightly routine. ‘E’ sent me this case history

My 9 year old son has loved his kickboxing class ever since he was 3. His natural perfectionist tendencies meant that he progressed so quickly, advanced so far through his grades, and did so well in competitions that he was moved up to a class for older children. He then suddenly lost his confidence in sparring with children who were bigger, stronger and had longer reach. He started getting upset, crying, panicking and freaking out when fights did not go his way and he was clearly losing his love of the sport.  I approached Paola for help and we began using SleepTalk™ in August this year specifically working on his confidence in sparring. After 4 weeks the changes were evident: He was more confident in his training, the panicking and freaking out stopped and he cried a lot less. There were other noticeable changes in his general level of confidence: He was less afraid of spiders and crane flies (which had previously disturbed him) and at a museum trip he stunned us all by volunteering to hold a tarantula in front of 250 people. His creativity and confidence in his studies improved and he soared to the top of his class where he has remained. He became more assertive and courageous in other areas: willingly going into shops on his own and launching himself off a huge zip-wire without hesitation. Within 8 weeks of starting SleepTalk™ his sparring had significantly improved. Two incidents around this time highlighted the change: After being punched whilst sparring with a 20 year old he started to cry but quickly responded when his coach to ‘stop crying and get angry’ and went on to win the next three rounds. His coach commented that he had never seen him fight with such speed and commitment and asked “What have your parents been doing – giving you ox blood for breakfast?” In early December he was awarded a special badge with the words ‘Sparring Champion’ on it for being the ‘most improved’ in sparring. He is now asking us to enter him in national competitions.

I should mention that in line with Paola’s recommendations we simultaneously used SleepTalk™ for our 6 year old daughter whose teacher had told us that she needed more confidence in speaking and performing in front of other people. With Paola’s help we tailored our suggestions to this need and again the changes were noticeable. She has since started piano lessons (something she previously resisted) and loves them, joined a performing dance group and volunteered for a speaking part in the Nativity play where she coped brilliantly when, at the last minute, she was given additional lines to cover for another child.

I have no doubt that SleepTalk™ has produced amazing results for both of my children in a few short months. They have both gained in confidence and ability and are clearly getting more out life. SleepTalk™ has also improved our relationship with the children and each other. The two minutes of love that we give them every night offsets the usual stresses and careless remarks of the day and re-aligns us all to our true feelings for each other. It is a beautiful practice and one that I will continue as long as it remains beneficial.

Parent Feedback – ST Consultant: Paola Bagnell – 2014 UK

Children who have been abused

Parent’s personal story received from an accredited consultant.

I am a single mum of 3 very active boys, and I began using sleep talk with my 2 youngest children aged 7 & 10 four months ago.  My 13 year old was proving to be more difficult to use the technique on, but I began a modified approach of turning a light on instead of stroking his face about 6 weeks ago, and I have noticed a marked improvement in all my childrens’ behaviour as a result.

My children unfortunately have grown up in a family environment that involved emotional abuse and at times verbal and physical abuse from their father.  After 2 &1/2 years post separation, and my children only seeing their father every second weekend, their behaviour was still a copy of their father’s, as they had grown up for many years seeing how he behaved. They were highly anxious, and pretty much anything could trigger a violent explosion of rage which involved physical abuse to me or their brothers or destruction of property, including holes in walls, doors and a smashed window. They were having massive tantrums that were uncontrollable, and they needed to be physically restrained for them to stop. It was an exhausting cycle for all.

Throughout the post separation, my children all attended regular counselling and my eldest son is seeing a psychologist who specializes in children who are violent to their parents. They were getting a lot of support, but they still communicated on a level where they deliberately ‘baited’ each other, which always ended in some form of abuse between each other, and at times me.

I was finding it extremely difficult to break the cycle of abuse they had learned, and how to teach them to use a new type of communication that involved; respect, thoughtfulness and kindness. My psychologist recommended me to Nicola Lane as my 2 youngest sons were still bed wetting, and she had heard from Nicola that she had successful reports of treating this issue.

When I met Nicola she discussed “Sleep Talk” with me. I had never heard of it, but thought if I could reduce the general level of anxiety in our house hold, as well as curing the bed wetting then it was worth a shot.

At first I noticed a slow change in the feel of the household, whilst beginning the process, and I can confidently say that today I have quiet moments in our house where my children are content in their own space, without trying to ‘get a reaction’ from someone. My children are now able to communicate to me and each other using respectful language and the general ‘angst’ in the household has been significantly reduced.

Whilst my 2 youngest still bed wet, I have noticed that the amount of urine produced over night is significantly less, which is an improvement that I have not had consistently in the past. I am confident that will settle over time, with the continual use of sleep talk.  It’s my eldest son that I have noticed such a marked improvement in, in such a short time. He has a new found general level of respect for me, and follows instructions without a constant barrage of excuses and stalling  behaviour. Given his teen age moods are beginning it’s a blessing.

My middle son suffered from high levels of anxiety, which inhibited his learning process at school. His spelling in particular improved, so that within 3 months he had stopped needing special assistance and a lower level of literacy work sheets, he moved up to the same level as the rest of the class, which increased his self-esteem immensely.

I know I have implemented a lot of strategies over the past few years, but it is my firm belief that Sleep Talk has both complemented and hastened the outcome I have been trying so hard to achieve. I have even gone on to receive hypnotherapy sessions myself, as I recognised that my past trauma was surfacing when my children became abusive, and I wasn’t able to react in a manner that was always the most effective. A lot of time I would simply freeze and/or shut down when my children physically abused me. That no longer happens, and my children now are receiving a different reaction from me when they become abusive.

I find the words in ‘Sleep Talk’ to be really comforting to me when I read them to my boys. In the early days when my boys became agitated I would say the first few lines to them and by the 3rd time they would start to relax in my arms. The words were soothing to them and for me using them, to help reduce their personal anguish.

I would highly recommend ‘Sleep Talk’ to any parent. In my opinion it helps a family function in a healthy manner, fostering love between all members and depending on the ‘support statements’ used, it can be a highly effective way to modify beliefs, and accordingly behaviour that stems from those beliefs.

Whilst the process does require commitment from the parent to do it on a regular basis and you do need to keep track of bed times, it is well worth the energy, and you will be rewarded over and over with the resulting change to your children. Compared to some of the challenges I have dealt with, using Sleep Talk has been remarkably easy, and my commitment to it has given my family at times a new found sense of peace, love and calmness, that has been sadly lacking in our lives for a very long time.

Accredited and registered consultant:  Nicola Lane – Australia 2012– Nicola Lane – Australia.

Education / Behaviour / Confidence

Parent Feedback:  “I had read about SleepTalk® and felt that my 10-year-old son would greatly benefit from it and found that the process fitted easily into our routine as a family. We have always remained dedicated to keeping the process part of the night-time routine as our consultant advised that this was important.

We found that there was ‘feedback’ within a matter of days as my son began getting up in the morning for school in a really good mood, with plenty of energy.   Other results included the fact that my son’s teacher and head teacher noted that he had been writing more in his written work and also that he was more confident with his math’s – even asking to come in at playtime to do his math’s work!

The behaviour change that had led to this improvement in the classroom – he was now beginning to feel self-confident – also meant that he didn’t feel the need to behave in an attention-seeking manner, which could be seen as disruptive.  As my son became more confident and self-assured, it was noticeable that he began to socialise better with his peers, and the best example of this is that he began to be invited to more parties.   And we are now presenting some specific ‘suggestions’ as my son is working through important exams.

We have truly found that SleepTalk® has been a tool that has been easy to fit into our routine and one that has made a huge difference to our family’s life.  There is no doubt that the program is “working”.  When my son said: “Mum, everything has been great since 3 weeks ago!”

He didn’t quite know why it was – but we knew. It was 3 weeks prior to this, that we had started the SleepTalk® program!   We continue to work with this process now and I would highly recommend it to any parent of any child. The results really do speak for themselves.”
Consultant:  Jenny Harrison – UK


February 2010

We have been continuing doing our Sleep Talking and have observed some pretty great developments with ‘N’ which are more obvious since his return to school. He seems to have acquired a whole new work ethic and is participating in school work activities and seems to be generalizing this knowledge outside of his school environment and is even doing some academic work “just for fun”! Oh My Goodness, I am so very thrilled about this!!

My thanks, Regards LL
(Chum Creek Primary School)

Pre-school issues, anger, nightmares

June 2010

Dear Joane,

I received the book and CD about a week ago. I have read the book, all except the last 2 chapters, and I have been using it for 6 nights now. I didn’t realise that I should have listened to the CD before beginning, will do that tomorrow (I thought the CD was just the book being read aloud). Anyway, it is still early but it seems to be working! My 5 year old son has been having a few problems at preschool and has been a bit angry and over emotional lately, nightmares etc, so we decided to just work on his confidence and try to increase his sense of security as a first port of call. Today he came up to me and asked me if I was happy (the song “if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands” was on in the background). I told him I was and asked him if he was happy, to which he replied “Yes! I’m happy! I’m clapping!”. Both he and my 6 year old daughter have told me they have also been having happy dreams, which is a big change from a few weeks ago when they were both waking up scared every night.

My daughter also just seems somehow a bit more settled. She has been telling me she loves me over the last few days, which I realised she normally doesn’t do unless I say it first. Today I thought to myself that it seems like she now “feels it in her bones” that I do love her. I also think that doing the process is good for me, I feel like I am on the path to giving them the most important, valuable thing I could ever give them, which is a deep feeling of being alright within themselves. So in that way, I feel like I am on the way to fulfilling the goal I have set myself as a parent, instead of constantly feeling like I’m getting it wrong, and letting the children down. As I say, it is still early days, but so far so good!

I was very interested to read in your book that nightmares are a sign of things not sitting quite right in the child’s subconscious, so my husband and I have been trying to also go over the day with the children before bed and apologise if we have blurted out anything that might have caused them any confusion. It makes so much sense to send them off to sleep having cleared up any misunderstandings, but having it spelled out as it is in your book, has really helped us to focus on that.

I found out about your book from a psychologist and hypnotherapist who saw you speaking at a conference a few years ago, as I mentioned that I was trying to help my children with night terrors. He wrote down your name for me and I followed it up through your website.

Thanks again for writing Joane, I will keep in touch and email your if I have any questions along the way.

Kind regards, SC

School issues and education

We have been continuing doing our sleep talking and have observed some pretty great developments with ‘N’ which are more obvious since his return to school. He seems to have acquired a whole new work ethic and is participating in school work activities and seems to be generalizing this knowledge outside of his school environment and is even doing some academic work “just for fun”! Oh My Goodness, I am so very thrilled about this!!

My thanks, Regards LL
(Chum Creek Primary School)