Tantrums, Self-confidence, Sibling rivalry, Education
A is a 5 year old boy who lives with his Mum and Dad and his little sister aged 2. Both parents were in a loving relationship and both keen to do the SleepTalk® technique together with both their children.
The initial reasons for A’s Mum wanting to use the SleepTalk method were to help him establish more self-confidence and assurance. Mum also noted that A was a premature baby and she said that she had experienced a few challenges along the way with A’s health due to this early birth.
17 August 2011
I met with both parents in August 2011. At this time A was described as a very intelligent, imaginative boy who knew just how to get his Mum’s attention through what was described as a “whiney voice”.
Mum commented how A could attempt to be very controlling when she was talking with other adults and didn’t want to “share his mum”. He would scream and go into ‘melt downs’ and this was often worse when A didn’t know people that well and felt uncomfortable in new surroundings. This was described to me as “clingy behaviour”.
Both Mum and Dad very loving parents who often spent much time with both children in the day time, but there was obviously some underlying belief that A had, and this was leading him to feel uncomfortable in new situations and only secure when with parents. At the time A was resistant in learning things himself, not keen to try new classes, and commented that he was most happy when “at home with Mummy and Daddy”.
The other thing that Mum and Dad wanted assistance with was to get to the core reason for A’s fussy eating, as he would often seek attention at meal times and both parents felt that there was a lot of fuss around eating. I left both parents with the SleepTalk® folder and they were confident with the process and how to apply it at bedtime.
13 October 2011
I met with A’s parents for the second time after they had been saying the ‘Foundation’ SleepTalk® suggestions to A for approximately 8 weeks. Mum said that A seemed “more level” now with his confidence and emotions. He was “snapping out of his whiney voice” much quicker and “able to control his emotions a lot better”. He seemed to be calmer and less anxious and “more comfortable in his own skin”, parents said. It was noted that A was more confident without parents and not as “needy” in new situations.
Dad said that he was delighted when he took A to a friend’s party on his own as Mum was away that weekend and A just ran off and played. Dad said that he was convinced that when they got there A would be clingy and yet when he turned around he had run off to play! You could see how pleased Dad was with this change in a matter of 7 weeks!
The one thing that still stood out was that A was still coming in to his parent’s bed at approx 12 am and lying right next to them indicating a need to be near his parents still. This was after he had wet his pull ups. So he would wee in his pull ups and then go to parent’s bed and get in with them. So together we looked for a suitable support statement to add to the Foundation words.
21 November 2011
I met with A’s parents again approx 5 weeks later. A had dry pull ups at bedtime within a week! Within one week A was getting up to go to the toilet himself and going back to his own bed where before he was going to his parents bed and getting in with them.
A was then going to his parents bed at approx 5 am and Dad said that he was more “calm and cuddly when getting in the bed rather than in a needy way”.
Both parents said that they didn’t feel that this was an issue now with A coming in at that time as it was nearly time to awaken for the day, so we didn’t address this any further and agreed that he would most probably grow out of this and when he got his new bed.
Mum said that A was now eating a better quantity of food and not fighting as much at meal times which could also have been due to the fact A was now taking quality Vitamin B tablets for children. Due to the sibling rivalry suggestions of the SleepTalk®, A was now saying that he loved his sister in the day time to her – so verbalising his feelings more freely and more understanding with his younger sister.
Parents noticed an improvement with his writing and school reported an improvement with his concentration in his work. Again, following a family weekend away, parents noticed that A was becoming more and more confident in unusual and new situations. He was now getting more sleep due to staying in his own bed longer at night time and was more settled therefore sleeping for longer periods of time.
Mum mentioned that whenever A showed a sign of anxiety which was rare these days, she would say some of the SleepTalk® words to him in a loving manner and his “shoulders would just drop and he would become more relaxed”. Increased cooperation meant that A was now more understanding of what his parents were saying to him and so he now listened when they were explaining things to him and he was more cooperative.
In summary there were notable improvements in sleep, bedwetting, eating, self security, confidence and self esteem, general well-being, communication, studies, and communication and relationships with parents within 3 months.
Both parents remained fully committed to the program throughout the whole 3 months, alternating the evenings that they said the words to their child and used some of the positive wording in the daytime to gain optimal benefits for their child.
2012 – Jenny Harris – UK – SleepTalk consultant.