Diet and behavioural issues

We heard about your book from a dear friend who has used the techniques for her daughter, they lost their home in the Traralgon bush fires in 2009, and even though her daughter was only seven months old at the times it affected her a lot, my friend now has a bubbly child that would give you the world if she could.  I am planning to use the techniques in the book alongside the elimination diet in a book called: “Fed up” by Sue Dengate. We are hoping that with a change of diet which removes preservatives and additives, along with your book of techniques we will have a child that is a lot easier to deal with and more aware of how others feel when he acts in his ways. I look forward to working with you and to a happier family without arguments.

2012 SleepTalk Mum.  MF


I just wanted to tell you that the psycho-nutrition section of the SleepTalk training had a profound effect on me and has resulted in us changing our diets, changing household and personal care items to remove the toxicity and introducing good quality supplementation. As a result the health of the house has just gone through the roof.

Ali Wass – SA – Consultant

Eating / Swimming / Separation Anxiety

Consultant – Case history feedback: “The parents loved the idea of the Goulding SleepTalk® process and couldn’t wait to get started!  After reading through the website and literature I had given her, mum felt that this is such an amazing, yet simple program.  They have two sons, ‘J’ and ‘N’.  Dad has his own business and works Monday to Friday and also goes away for work at times, for 1 -2 week stints.  Mum is an extremely organized person who follows through on commitments, so I am looking forward to seeing how their journey progress’.

1st discussion March 2011
Mum feels ‘J’ is too clingy and would like to see him more confident in himself, not necessarily an extrovert though, just himself.  He loves food and will eat anything but relies on mum feed spooning him still.   He will push mums buttons, for example nagging if she is on the phone to get off.  Mum tries not to growl at him but also doesn’t want him to have ‘no boundaries’ either so instead tries to discuss it with him calmly and in a manner that he understands.  Dad was away for the 1st week that SleepTalk® started but was more than willing and happy to implement the process as well.

After a few days, I received this text message from mum: “I had to let you know, it seems that just in the last few days ‘J’ has been happy to do more things without me being right beside him. Today at the park he rode off on his bike with his mate and played without me for ages!!  Oh I hope it keeps up! Xx”

A couple of weeks after I received the first text message, I received the following, “Loving the SleepTalk….and I’m sticking with it, he is responding well”.  Mum was very happy with the process and is very diligent and I feel that she has done wonderfully in that she has picked up on the subtly within his behavior.

May 2011. Feedback regarding his eating habits was very positive so we developed some ‘specific’ suggestions to deal with his confidence and fear of swimming and Mum loved the support suggestions and was looking forward to seeing how he responded to them.  A week later she sent me through the following feedback: “…..we had swimming at 4pm…..and…..NO TEARS!!!!!  He had a ball.  He was back to the old ‘J’ I know and love and he kicked, and he swam and he jumped in off the side like mad!!!  Thanks heaps …I LOVE THIS SLEEPTALK caper!!”

Conclusion: Mum is rapt with this whole process.  She is more than happy to continue and as other issues arise, implement further statements. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to work with this family.  Mum is an extremely honest and grounded person and is so impressed with the Goulding process and has no hesitation what so ever recommending it to others, and for her to keep it up for many years to come.  She is very grateful for this “gift” for her son and can see the benefits right in front of her eyes.  The only question she has is: “Why doesn’t every parent do this?”

Consultant – Natalie Oakley – Vic.

Tantrums / Bullying / Sibling Rivalry / Speech / Anxiety / Pooing Issues / Refusing Food

B was almost 3 at the time that her Mum commenced Sleeptalk ® with her. B has a new baby sister, E two months old. Mum says that B is a confident, interested and energetic child. B is a “strong-willed” child, who likes to do “her own thing”. However, B doesn’t always listen to or follow Mum’s directions, or cooperate with Mum, eg holding hands when in the carpark for safety, which concerned Mum. To get Mum’s attention, B often pushes other children at crèche, pokes her sister or pulls on her arm (daily) or will cry. Mum noted a there was a bit of sibling rivalry going on. B will hit her head on the floor or walls at times, throwing tantrums. When things don’t go right or when she wants her own way, Mum says that B overacts.

B speech had been assessed and found to be 6 months behind her age appropriate development (ie limited vocabulary, enunciation concerns, not speaking clearly enough to be understood, etc). As a result she visits a Speech Therapist regularly. B responds well to routine, eg bed-time which has a pre-warning beforehand and a bed-time story which works well Mum says. Although B sleeps through the night, she usually takes sometime to settle initially. B reacts strongly towards specific things and will cry straight away. For instance, at the sight of the vacuum cleaner she will immediately start crying and run to her room or when shown Tigger (the toy tiger) which when wound up will bounce and jump around. B likes and wants order Mum says, eg the doll has to have her hat off. Although previously toilet trained, B had fissures now, so was reluctant to do ‘poos’ (often holding on for some days before going), or go to the toilet to do ‘poos’ due to the pain involved. While Mum has sought medical advice and treatment, she says that B goes and puts on a ‘pull-up’ herself to do ‘poos’ in, rather than going in the toilet.
While Mum said that she would commit to this process, she nevertheless said on parting that “We’ll see if it works”, which l found interesting.

SleepTalk ® Foundation Process commenced.
Spoke with Mum a couple of days after our first meeting and she said that she felt confident giving the SleepTalk ® process. Sent sms after two weeks; all going well Mum reported.

Four weeks into the SleepTalk ® process, spoke with Mum on the phone to arrange our next meeting. Mum said that she had been able to do SleepTalk ® each night, only missing a couple of nights. Mum said that B was more calm and cooperative now, even stopping, looking and listening to Mum at times which didn’t happen before. B had even begun to hold Mum’s hand in the carpark, which Mum was very pleased about.

Second meeting with Mum
A number of substantial improvements in B’s development and behaviour were recognised and noted during this meeting; most with an increase of 10-15%. In reflection and comparison, Mum was able to identify that B had become calmer, more cooperative and focused, and her speech had improved. This was also noted by the Speech Therapist, two weeks earlier (who is interested in finding out more about SleepTalk ®). Mum said that now B was more focused in her play and activities, instead of having ‘excess’ energy as previously, eg not swinging from the curtains as much. B was now more placid, more affectionate, giving more cuddles, especially in the mornings. B was more sharing and caring of her baby sister, saying ‘gentle’ when touching the baby which was welcomed by Mum. Her speech had improved greatly, with B saying new words, more sentences, making more sense in her communication, reciting songs and speaking more clearly. Whereas previously B refused to even try any new foods at all, she was now more willing to even put these foods to her lips and taste them. Increased interest in sharing books with her Mum and letting her Mum read to her and talking with her about books through the day had occurred.

B was playing, sharing and dealing with other kids at crèche better, with less aggression – not snatching toys from them or hitting them as much. B was communication with other children had improved and was verbalizing more. Her concentration on one activity was lasting a lot longer, being more attentive and focused. While her imagination and creativity had become greater, making up games with play dough, wearing objects as ‘crowns’, making up songs.

B’s behaviour at home and in public had become less demonstrative, by compiling with and following Mum’s directions more (eg holding hands in the carpark, packing up toys when asked), with the head banging/throwing tantrums occurring only occasionally. Mum believed as she had put more boundaries in place and B was listening more, she could reason with B and explain consequences to her. Because of this, B was following through more positively rather than reacting negatively by screaming, throwing tantrums, etc. B was not being sent to her room as much for time out. Rather than becoming frustrated quickly with things, B had become calmer with everyday activities, such as tying shoe laces, or when a puzzle piece was missing or didn’t fit.

Mum believed that B’s level of anxiety had reduced (eg trying to eat more things, more willing to do things, calmer, etc); she could even touch the vacuum cleaner now after it was turned off. However she still reacted by yelling “NO” when Tigger appeared. Greater self-help skills by B were recognised by Mum, with B washing her hands after toileting and when appropriate, packing up toys and putting away, cooperating more with less resistance and fighting. While B still wanted to wear pull-ups for ‘poos’, she had started to go to the toilet by herself without being taken by her Mum. Although Dad is not taking part in the nightly SleepTalk ® process, he can see a difference in B’s behaviour Mum said.

Choosing the Primary Area of Need

In determining B’s Primary Area of Need, two priorities were selected by Mum: toileting and speech. Mum is very concerned and anxious, wanting to do all she can to help with B’s speech development, which had improved the Speech Therapist had told her. However, of the two areas, Mum wanted B to be able to go to the toilet to do ‘poos’, without holding on or thinking that it would still be painful. Mum felt that her daughter was becoming constipated regularly because of this which also worried Mum. A specific statement “You can do ‘poos’ in the toilet easily – its OK”, was agreed upon and a follow up appointment made for 6 weeks’ time.

Speech, Eating & Sleeping Issues

“Obsessive behaviour issues displayed by ‘L’ about keeping things in order was compelled by hoarding lots of random items.

He does not like his items to be touched or moved, tends to escalate on his anger quickly, clenches his fist and face and he goes red from frustration.

When he gets upset, he cries and begins to hyperventilate. As a form of additional control, he also makes sure he eats everything that is given to him – as a reaction to “not having” or “attention”. 

Mum found the process difficult to start initially, as trying to form the habit at night was a bit of a challenge after a long day.

However, after 2 weeks she had the hang of it and was thoroughly enjoying it. She was encouraged to keep going and kept in regular contact. Significant shifts were noted with ‘L’ anxious behaviour.

Feedback included that he was not collecting as many items, he was being more open to change, willingness to throw random items away (junk),  he also was not crying so hard that previously would have caused him to hyperventilate. Other areas mentioned were a willingness to learn new skills, being ok to start interacting with other kids by using his own initiative and finally being more content to continue doing his own thing. 

There was a 50% improvement so we moved to Phase 2. To ensure that ‘L’ continued to remain calm and secure, we introduced additional suggestions to help build confidence. The biggest behaviour change that was noticed was the obsessive behaviour.

The decrease in his need to hoard items and collect items as well as allowing them to be touched and moved, was a significant and worthwhile improvement.

‘L’ has succeeded quite substantially by improving on some quite escalated behaviour in only 24 weeks of doing the programme. Having decreased his need for control on items through his anxiety which is allowing him to interact more with children and hoard much less.” 

Accredited Consultant – Tarryn Pickup – Sth Africa 


Meal Times are Calmer 

“Mum reports that ‘E’ is giving more kisses and cuddles and is generally much more affectionate. She will continue with the Foundation script for the time being and we will consider adding a supporting statement if and when it is deemed to be necessary.

I saw mum again in August. ‘E’ has continued to progress in most areas. She is still a little anxious at times and mum still has concerns about her eating. Meal times are calmer but mum is still worried about ‘E’s weight. 

(She looks fine to me. I think perhaps mum is worrying unnecessarily. Mum has been doing  The Goulding Process – SleepTalk consistently and I felt it was a good time to introduce a support statement to address anxiety and self-esteem issues she still has. 

I spoke to mum in September. She is more than hoppy with  the process. She feels that ‘E’ is less anxious, calmer and that her self-esteem has improved. She will continue with SleepTalk and will talk to her again soon for update.

Kathryn Duncan – Qld 2014


Needs to eat

“Initially the main reason ‘H’ parents became interested in the Goulding  Process- SleepTalk® was with the hope that it would help them to get her to eat. Because of the nature of the disease and the body’s inability to break down and absorb food every meal has to be eaten along with enzymes so that the body can benefit from the food. 

This in itself presents a large conflict. The parents understand that they must get their child to eat and so over the course of several years mealtimes have become difficult for all involved. ‘H’ who lacks any control over the situation is desperately seeking control and the parents – mom especially – feel they have no choice but to be in control – allowing her not to eat is simply not an option for them.

The Goulding Process- SleepTalk® has helped in many ways, the parents feel like they are actually doing something constructive. They have found ways to give ‘H’ control in her life so that she is not so insistent on controlling the one thing that has become so difficult for all involved.

The feedback from the parents has been that they have noticed that she is happier and generally more easy going. The parents have also realized their responsibility to do something about the way they are dealing with the fact that they have a daughter with CF.

 A lot of the problems in the home are as a result of the unfairness and anger that mom is experiencing all the time. Our next step is to address specific areas where we can help the child’s overall health and wellbeing.

 Update: After a few months of using The Goulding Process – SleepTalk® unfortunately the parents have not kept up the practice. One of the things that this particular case has taught me is just how profound an impact the Goulding Process – SleepTalk® has on the family unit. 

Even outside of the actual process of giving suggestions to the subconscious mind of the child. The overall awareness in the family of the words we use and the actions of the parents has just as much to do with the success of The Goulding Process- SleepTalk®. 

That added to the empowerment that the parents feel that they are actually doing something to give their child such a gift, all works together to make The Goulding Process- SleepTalk® what it is – nothing less than miraculous.

Consultant: Philip Donegan – Ireland 2009


Going very well .

The kids are going very well and are happy.   ‘O’ is eating and sleeping well and ‘H’s talking is much clearer – has come a long way.

Overall I can see that they are confident and happy little people who given we have just moved house and they have new school/kindergartens, they have settled in without any issues or concerns.  In fact they are very excited each day to be going.

At this stage I feel confident that the kids are going well and that a follow up consultation is not necessary.  I will continue to monitor them and at any stage require additional help beyond your very detailed and helpful book I will give you a call.

Thank you for all your help.  SleepTalk® Mum 2009


Feedback received:  “A little girl of 4 years was very advanced for her young age. ‘A’ often says she does not like mom and does not like dad. There is a fraternal rivalry with her sister and has ‘A’ has trouble falling asleep.

At the end of the 1st Phase: ‘A’ has become incredibly calm. The parents had a 10 day break  and ‘A’ lived with her grandparents for the holiday. On her return she started to show anger again especially towards her sister, so the parents re- started the process and found again a clear improvement. She still has some problems falling asleep but is improving. 

The suggestions chosen or the 2nd Phase are definitely helping and the parents are amazed by the changes. ‘A’ is continuing to be calm and the parents are more than willing to continue the process.

Accredited Consultant: Rose-Marie Mauron – Genève