Sleeping & Confidence

With my 7 year old daughter, we had issues with her anger, insecurity and with her coming into our bed in the middle of the night, which was causing tension within the family, as we could not find a productive method that worked and prevented all this. The first night I did SleepTalk with her, she slept all night in her own bed – the first time in years! I was shocked, she herself was surprised and very proud of herself!

I have witnessed a calmness about her, a confidence, a positivity, an independence and security since I have implemented SleepTalk. Over summer I got out of habit and routine of doing it. Then I slowly saw old habits creeping back in – she was getting back into my bed again at night-time, she was getting angry easily, etc … so I started SleepTalk and things resolved themselves.

She is asleep when I do SleepTalk, but she sometime says to me as she goes to bed, “Please mummy, can you stroke my head and say those words to me again when I’m sleeping?” This surprises me, as she is asleep, so not quite sure how she knows? So I say to her, “Do you remember what i say?” … her reply, “No, but it makes me happy”!

My son is 11 years old. He has severe special needs. He can’t talk. He is a very happy, calm child, who cannot verbally give me feedback about life, so I have no real proof if it is working for him or not … BUT when I do SleepTalk – again he is asleep, but every time I say THE script he suddenly smiles whilst asleep … that says it all to me! I feel I am giving him a little bit of security and reinforcement of what he already knows every time I do it!

As a mum, it has had personal benefits, as I love doing it … it has given me a few minutes every night, that feels a beautiful, peaceful, special, magical bonding time with my children – it really feels like pure unconditional love.

I have witnessed some beautiful positive changes in my children, which I believe is from this method, but who knows if this is just coincidence and if it really works or not? I personally really do think it is working for my family and will continue with it, as in my opinion  …  it only takes 2 minutes of your time in an evening and it cannot do any harm, as everything that is said is positive and loving. There is no negativity, nothing intrusive or implying anything apart from making your child know that they are loved, secure and safe. Surely, that is the most important gift any parent can give their child?

My daughter is called ‘T’, she is about to turn 8 years old and my son is called ‘R’, he is 11 years old (he has special needs – a rare chromosome condition called, ‘1q44 deletion denovo syndrome’ – which means he has seizure, gross & fine motor issues, non verbal, still in nappies, sensory integration dysfunction, etc, etc …)

Beryl Comar – Accredited Training – Parent Feedback – DW – Dubai – 2014

Improving concentration and confidence

Consultant report: Parents used the SleepTalk™ process for her 6 year old daughter to improve her concentration and confidence. I worked with both parents, however, mum was the main parent doing the SleepTalk™.

I found the concept of SleepTalk interesting and so when Paola was asking for volunteers I jumped at the chance.  My daughter finds it hard to concentrate at school and can be quite anxious and so I wanted to see if SleepTalk could help in combination with other things. After a few months it seems that my daughter has responded well to SleepTalk. She is reading more confidently using SleepTalk and ‘K’ and has been moved up a group in her class and her swimming has improved a great deal and she is now enjoying it. We continue to do the SleepTalk now.  Paola has been brilliant along the way, helping with a few teething issues initially as my daughter kept waking up when I starting talking, but we sorted it out and all went well after that.  I would certainly recommend SleepTalk

ST Accredited Consultant – Paola Bagnell – 2014 UK

Improvement at school and in sport

Consultant report: Parents used the SleepTalk™ process for both their children, their son aged 9 and their daughter aged 6, to improve their confidence. I worked with ‘E’ on her own. However, she taught her husband the process and they took turns in doing the nightly routine. ‘E’ sent me this case history

My 9 year old son has loved his kickboxing class ever since he was 3. His natural perfectionist tendencies meant that he progressed so quickly, advanced so far through his grades, and did so well in competitions that he was moved up to a class for older children. He then suddenly lost his confidence in sparring with children who were bigger, stronger and had longer reach. He started getting upset, crying, panicking and freaking out when fights did not go his way and he was clearly losing his love of the sport.  I approached Paola for help and we began using SleepTalk™ in August this year specifically working on his confidence in sparring. After 4 weeks the changes were evident: He was more confident in his training, the panicking and freaking out stopped and he cried a lot less. There were other noticeable changes in his general level of confidence: He was less afraid of spiders and crane flies (which had previously disturbed him) and at a museum trip he stunned us all by volunteering to hold a tarantula in front of 250 people. His creativity and confidence in his studies improved and he soared to the top of his class where he has remained. He became more assertive and courageous in other areas: willingly going into shops on his own and launching himself off a huge zip-wire without hesitation. Within 8 weeks of starting SleepTalk™ his sparring had significantly improved. Two incidents around this time highlighted the change: After being punched whilst sparring with a 20 year old he started to cry but quickly responded when his coach to ‘stop crying and get angry’ and went on to win the next three rounds. His coach commented that he had never seen him fight with such speed and commitment and asked “What have your parents been doing – giving you ox blood for breakfast?” In early December he was awarded a special badge with the words ‘Sparring Champion’ on it for being the ‘most improved’ in sparring. He is now asking us to enter him in national competitions.

I should mention that in line with Paola’s recommendations we simultaneously used SleepTalk™ for our 6 year old daughter whose teacher had told us that she needed more confidence in speaking and performing in front of other people. With Paola’s help we tailored our suggestions to this need and again the changes were noticeable. She has since started piano lessons (something she previously resisted) and loves them, joined a performing dance group and volunteered for a speaking part in the Nativity play where she coped brilliantly when, at the last minute, she was given additional lines to cover for another child.

I have no doubt that SleepTalk™ has produced amazing results for both of my children in a few short months. They have both gained in confidence and ability and are clearly getting more out life. SleepTalk™ has also improved our relationship with the children and each other. The two minutes of love that we give them every night offsets the usual stresses and careless remarks of the day and re-aligns us all to our true feelings for each other. It is a beautiful practice and one that I will continue as long as it remains beneficial.

Parent Feedback – ST Consultant: Paola Bagnell – 2014 UK

Improving Confidence


I woke up to a lovely message from one of my Mums today, she has a 7 year old daughter who is diabetic and has a fear of needles. She has been using SleepTalk for 4 1/2 months. It was a struggle at first because there was a huge abreaction from ‘A’. Confidence was a real problem and herself belief was really low. We implemented our first support sentence about 3 weeks ago and Mum tells me she has started administering her own insulin this weekend which is HUGE for the family. The fact she is in control herself now and not Mum is really going to help her confidence grow and grow in other areas of her life.

Claire Bossons UK consultant (Trainee)

Feedback – Behaviour & Confidence

I have been lucky enough to meet Joane Goulding and learn the correct techniques of SleepTalk® for  my two boys, aged 5 and 2. Not only has SleepTalk® improved their behaviour, the whole dynamics of our family has improved. We have an overall calmer and happier attitude and show love and respect to each other. I am no longer so worried about how my boys will cope with the challenges that come their way as their father and I use SleepTalk®, as well as positive affirmation throughout the day, to build their confidence and self-esteem.

Of course, we all worry about our children and there will always be issues for them which are out of our control, however, I am thankful to SleepTalk® for giving me the skills to control the things I can. I admit that I was initially daunted by the idea of doing SleepTalk® every night, yet it soon became part of my routine and takes mere minutes. I now actually enjoy this time I have to witness their peacefulness in sleep, especially when we have had a hectic day. I hope that all parents and careers get an opportunity to learn and use SleepTalk® Thank you Joane.

2012 – YVPP Parent Meeting at Yarra Glen – Cameron House


I was spurred on today to send this email as I had a client who uses Sleep Talk with her children each night and says since doing so his confidence has improved and they have a more peaceful household – isn’t that wonderful!

Lee Simmons – Victoria 2013

A parent’s gratitude

Parent feedback – Comment: I just want to pass on my intense gratitude to Joane for the beautiful gift that is Sleep Talk.  I’m not one to reach out or write reviews on books or products but feel compelled this time to let Joane know that she has truly changed my life and the lives of both my 6 year old warrior (burkitt’s lymphoma survivor) and his younger brother. As you know the wounds you can’t see can be the most difficult to heal so a year after the blessing of Hudson’s physical battle coming to an end, I felt myself and my parenting abilities crumbling. My family was in distress.

Conventional therapy felt wrong and more damaging than helpful. Mainstream parenting techniques left me more confused and angry because the gift of my son’s battle has to be the ability to truly appreciate these little angels for what they are. I feel so strongly that every parent should know about this method and pray for the foundation’s blessing. You are empowering parents and healing relationships/ wounds and I can’t think of more important work at this time on the planet.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

USA – Amanda Paige – Parent

Behaviour, eating issues, tantrums and confidence

Katie talks about how The Goulding SleepTalk process helped her son sleep better, enjoy his food more and feel calmer and happier within himself. Katie describes the stress that she felt prior to learning this method and how she has been able to help her son develop a confidence that is helping him to thrive in his life.

Self-confidence and assurance

A is a 5 year old boy who lives with his Mum and Dad and his little sister aged 2.

Both parents were in a loving relationship and both keen to do the SleepTalk technique together with both their children.

The initial reasons for A’s Mum wanting to use the SleepTalk method were to help him establish more self-confidence and assurance. Mum also noted that A was a premature baby and she said that she had experienced a few challenges along the way with A’s health due to this early birth.

17th August 2011

I met with both parents in August 2011. At this time A was described as a very intelligent, imaginative boy who knew just how to get his Mum’s attention through what was described as a “whiney voice”.

Mum commented how A could attempt to be very controlling when she was talking with other adults and didn’t want to “share his mum”. He would scream and go into melt downs and this was often worse when A didn’t know people that well and felt uncomfortable in new surroundings. This was described to me as “clingy behaviour”.

Both Mum and Dad were very loving parents who often spent much time with both children in the day time but there was obviously some underlying belief that A had that was leading to him to feel uncomfortable in new situations and only secure when with parents.

At the time A was resistant in learning things himself, not keen to try new classes, and commented that he was most happy when “at home with Mummy and Daddy”.

The other thing that Mum and Dad wanted help with was to get to the core reason for A’s fussy eating as he would often seek attention at meal times and both parents felt that there was a lot of fuss around eating.

I left both parents with the SleepTalk folder and they were confident with the process and how to apply it at bedtime.

13th October 2011

I met with A’s parents for the second time after they had been saying the Foundation Stage SleepTalk words to A for approx 8 weeks time.

Mum said that A seemed more level now with his confidence and emotions. He was “snapping out of his whiney voice” much quicker and “able to control his emotions a lot better”.

A seemed to be calmer and less anxious and “more comfortable in his own skin”, parents said.

It was noted that A was more confident without parents and not as “needy” in new situations.

Dad said that he was delighted when he took A to a friend’s party on his own as Mum was away that weekend and A just ran off and played. Dad said that he was convinced that when they got there A would be clingy and yet when he turned round he had run off to play!

You could see how pleased Dad was with this change in a matter of 7 weeks!

The one thing that still stood out was that A was still coming in to his parent’s bed at approx 12 am and lying right next to them indicating a need to be near his parents still. This was after he had wet his pull ups. So he would wee in his pull ups and then go to parent’s bed and get in with them.

So together we looked for a suitable support statement to add to the Foundation words.

21 st November 2011

I met with A’s parents again approx 5 weeks later.

A had dry pull ups at bedtime within a week! Within one week A was getting up to go to the toilet himself and going back to his own bed where before he was going to his parents bed and getting in with them.

A was then going to his parents bed at approx 5 am and Dad said that he was more “calm and cuddly when getting in the bed rather than in a needy way”.

Both parents said that they didn’t feel that this was an issue now with A coming in at that time as it was nearly time to awaken for the day so we didn’t address this any further and agreed that he would most probably grow out of this and when he got his new bed.

Mum said that A was now eating a better quantity of food and not fighting as much at meal times which could also have been due to the fact A was now taking quality Vitamin B tablets for children.

Due to the sibling part of the SleepTalk, A was now saying that he loved his sister in the day time to her- so verbalising his feelings more freely and more understanding with his younger sister.

Parents noticed an improvement with his writing and school reported an improvement with his concentration in his work.

Again, following a family weekend away, parents noticed that A was becoming more and more confident in unusual and new situations.

A was now getting more sleep due to staying in his own bed longer at night time and was more settled therefore sleeping for longer periods of time.

Mum mentioned that whenever A showed a sign of anxiety which was rare these days, she would say some of the SleepTalk words to him in a loving manner and his “shoulders would just drop and he would become more relaxed”.

Increased cooperation meant that A was now more understanding of what his parents were saying to him and so he now listened when they were explaining things to him and he was more cooperative.


In summary there were notable improvements in sleep, bedwetting, eating, self security, confidence and self esteem, general wellbeing, communication, studies, and communication and relationships with parents within 3 months.

Both parents remained fully committed to the program throughout the whole 3 months, alternating the evenings that they said the words to their child and used some of the positive wording in the daytime to gain optimal benefits for their child.


2012 – Jenny Harris – UK – SleepTalk consultant.

Education / Behaviour / Confidence

Parent Feedback:  “I had read about SleepTalk® and felt that my 10-year-old son would greatly benefit from it and found that the process fitted easily into our routine as a family. We have always remained dedicated to keeping the process part of the night-time routine as our consultant advised that this was important.

We found that there was ‘feedback’ within a matter of days as my son began getting up in the morning for school in a really good mood, with plenty of energy.   Other results included the fact that my son’s teacher and head teacher noted that he had been writing more in his written work and also that he was more confident with his math’s – even asking to come in at playtime to do his math’s work!

The behaviour change that had led to this improvement in the classroom – he was now beginning to feel self-confident – also meant that he didn’t feel the need to behave in an attention-seeking manner, which could be seen as disruptive.  As my son became more confident and self-assured, it was noticeable that he began to socialise better with his peers, and the best example of this is that he began to be invited to more parties.   And we are now presenting some specific ‘suggestions’ as my son is working through important exams.

We have truly found that SleepTalk® has been a tool that has been easy to fit into our routine and one that has made a huge difference to our family’s life.  There is no doubt that the program is “working”.  When my son said: “Mum, everything has been great since 3 weeks ago!”

He didn’t quite know why it was – but we knew. It was 3 weeks prior to this, that we had started the SleepTalk® program!   We continue to work with this process now and I would highly recommend it to any parent of any child. The results really do speak for themselves.”
Consultant:  Jenny Harrison – UK

Tantrums / Sibling rivalry / Bed Wetting / Speech /Anger / Confidence & Co-operation

B was 6 years old when Mum commenced SleepTalk® with him. Mum says that B is quite a sensitive boy who relates to nature and enjoys learning about and exploring nature. His older brother J was 16 years old and younger brother A was 2.5 years old at the time. Mum was very interested and motivated to be involved with SleepTalk ® For Children. Mum had concerns with B with several areas; the most prominent being his behaviour, which was often explosive, with yelling, screaming, swearing, kicking and throwing things, and tantrums. B wouldn’t cooperate with Mum when asked to do things (eg packing up the toys before dinner) and became very angry and aggressive quickly. Although B tended to play separately from others, often annoyed his younger brother A, consistently arguing/fighting with him. His older brother didn’t want to play with, B or let B come into his room, and has no patience for him Mum said. B had delayed speech development, which primarily involved enunciation (eg of sounds –  c, f, s, sh, ch), sentence structure, grammar selection (eg l/He/She…. am/was/are). This negatively impacted on B’s communication with others – who often had difficulty understanding what he was trying to say.
B became anxious with changes and new people in his life, sometimes ‘over-reacting’ to these situations, by either crying or becoming overly excited. Although toilet trained now, Mum said that B had no interest in going to the toilet by himself, so at 4 years of age she “really had to make him.” However he was still wearing night nappies (bed wetting).

Mum said that she would also give SleepTalk to A her 2 yo son as well, as he was copying B’s negative behaviour. Spoke with Mum next day who said she felt a bit nervous when giving SleepTalk ® but it all went well.

SleepTalk ® Foundation Process commenced.
Only a week later, Mum was amazed to hear A repeating the script word for word to them (on Mother’s Day!). Within two weeks she could already see some improvement in B’s behaviour, with the aggressive outbursts becoming less frequent each day and B becoming a bit calmer at home. B was listening to her more, and had even stopped and looked at her while she was asking him to pack up the toys one day, which he had never done before. Mum was so amazed that she quickly gave him a cuddle and told him how good he was! Both boys had become more affectionate towards Mum, coming up for no reason and giving her a cuddle, which she loved of course! They were being more affectionate towards dad also.

After the first month of SleepTalk, Mum was very happy to share how much B’s behaviour had improved and the positive effect it had on the whole family – even his older brother had said at the dinner table one night, “I don’t recognise B anymore.” A family day trip which involved quite a bit of driving had been successful Mum reported, without the three boys on the back seat fighting once – “that’s never happened before!”

Second Meeting With Mum.
Vast improvements concerning B’s level of behaviour, confidence, anxiety and happiness were highlighted by Mum who was so happy with the progress that B had made in the previous two months. Generally B remained calm and was dealing with things, with his aggression and anger occurring much less frequently. However these aggressive episodes were more apparent during the previous month when B was suffering from an ear infection. Mum found his behaviour had become more ‘challenging’ again through this time, after being more settled. She was thankful for SleepTalk, to be able to tell him that she loved him when he was quiet at night – and get her through the difficult and stressful times of coping with B’s behaviour each day.

How much B’s level of self confidence and self-esteem had improved became more apparent for Mum when she explained what B was now doing at home. B was cooperating more with Mum, packing up the toys for dinner when asked, often doing so without being asked! Mum said that B wanted to help around the house more, offering to chop up things for meals, setting the table, even got the baked beans out for himself to eat, opened the lid, put them in a saucepan, turned on the hotplate and heated them up – all independently and at 6yo! B had even chosen a new job for himself to do each morning – packing the dried dishes away in the cupboard, and supervised his little brother A to put away the cutlery. He was also sharing and helping his younger brother, playing positively with his older brother who now wanted B’s company and better behaved when in the supermarket. Mum even took the boys on a bus trip to the shops which she said she never would have attempted with B previously due to his behaviour. Mum said that B was more consistent in his behaviour, she could reason with him now and he was more thoughtful and helpful to others.

While B’s behaviour outside the home was not “as silly as before”, being better behaved, he still tended to act silly, as though attention seeking from his friends. Mum said he was never invited to play at his friend’s homes and she thought maybe this could be the reason from their mothers. B’s level of anxiety had reduced when car pooling as he acted calmer, not appearing to be upset by other children’s comments when they couldn’t understand what he was saying. Although Mum was!  B’s sleeping pattern had improved and now went to bed easier when asked, and straight to sleep; sleeping through the night, instead of being awake for quite sometime as previously. However he was still bed wetting.

Mum reported that B was not only more affectionate, but his cuddles, hugs and words of affection were more meaningful and heartfelt. How lovely!

Although Dad had not been taking part in the nightly SleepTalk ® process, he often came to watch and listen to Mum from the doorway of B’s bedroom. He had recognised B’s improved behaviour and level of affection and seemed to be more willing to do things with the boys, eg taking them fishing with him.

Choosing the Primary Area of Need
Three areas of need for B were identified by Mum – his speech, behaviour and toileting (bed wetting). Even though she felt his communication with others, together with his self-confidence, would benefit from improved speech, she explained that as his younger brother had begun to have dry nights and didn’t want to wear night nappies, she believed this was of more importance for B. Whereas before, B was not concerned about wearing a night nappy, she felt that now he wanted not to wet his nappy each night. After discussing what the possible reason/s maybe concerning why B had bed wetting, eg medical, fears, authority figure/s, a specific statement was chosen as the support statement.

By advising Mum that with Dad’s involvement in giving SleepTalk ® to B, not only will it help to accelerate the process, but it will help him with his bed wetting problem.

After only five nights of giving the supporting statement, Mum sms to say that B had his first dry night! Mum was so excited for her son, as well B also – me too!

Confidence, Bedwetting, Lack of respect

Prior to seeing Joane Goulding, both of my sons had individual problems. The 8 year old was very dependant on me and very lacking in confidence. My younger son (5 years of age) had a bed wetting problem, and a complete lack of respect toward the opposite sex.

My mother saw Joane interviewed on television, and after further research, an appointment was made with her. After six months of practicing ‘SleepTalk’ it was obvious to me that this program was working. I have now been practicing ‘SleepTalk’ for two years, and definitely see positive results. I intend to continue ‘SleepTalk’ as I believe that it is a necessary part of my children’s development.

Thank you Joane.

P.C. – Bacchus Marsh 2005

Fear and lack of confidence

Ten year old sibling of Case 1 presents as a well adjusted young person with no apparent need for SleepTalk®.  Joane encourages the parents to use the Foundation process on the sibling also.  After 2-3 weeks the brother’s name is inserted into the Foundation statements. (as per case 1).
Case 2 is a competitive acrobat, having represented the state at National Level at the age of nine.  On the surface she seems capable and the sort of person who takes everything in her stride.  However, she is actually highly stressed due to the demands of competition and she is starting to doubt her ability to execute certain skills within the routine.
Joane and the girl’s mother quickly work together (first qualifying competition is three weeks away) to come up with some primary suggestions to add to the Foundation process.  The ‘Specific’ suggestion they choose incorporated statements that encouraged remaining calm, relaxed, secure and remaining positive”.

Due to school holidays and absences of other members of the team, it is uncertain for the first two weeks if the primary suggestions are being accepted.  At the first training session of the new term, with only one training session to go before the competition, case 2 reports how she executed the routine from start to finish, including her back sault to tummy (her primary fear), with absolutely no assistance from the coaches.  She is clearly delighted with her performance.

Building Confidence

I thought I would give you an update. I never, thought I would say this but ‘M’ volunteered to speak on behalf of his class and the school today. He had to thank a couple of guest speakers that visited his school Library today and present them with a gift.

The Library teacher pulled me aside after school today to tell me. She said she was so surprised he put his hand up to do it so she immediately chose him. She said she was very impressed with him and noted the improvement in his confidence.

I told her about the SleepTalk® program. She said it definitely seems to be working; he is not the same shy little boy.

Regards K