Behaviour Improvement

Improving Behaviour

 

I have been using the foundation of The Goulding Process – SleepTalk®  with my six year old son for four months now and we have seen fantastic results with his mood and behaviour.

 

He is much happier, calmer and more in control of his emotions. We have just received his latest school report and his teachers have seen a great change in him over the last couple of months.

 

There are still a couple of areas they feel he needs to work on and I wanted some advice on statements I could introduce to help him with this.

 

Thank you
SleepTalk Mum – UK – 2016

 

Behaviour

 

Behaviour

 

In the first two months the main thing that I have realised was that I loved them even more.

 

I would never thought that was possible because I loved them so much anyway. But now I started to see them through different eyes.

 

I watched them to sleep and I forgave them all of their mischiefs and laziness.

 

I started to accept their flows! So those words did influenced – at least me. (Sorry for the English)

 

SleepTalk® Accredited Consultant – Gerely (Nicolas) Miklós – Hungary – 2014

 

Observing Positive Behaviour. 

 

“Parents feedback has been good so far and positive behavioural changes have been observed, specifically changes in social behaviour and social interactions. Younger brother may unconsciously feel left out from not receiving the process. 

 

Will follow-up with mother about starting the process with younger brother.

 

Accredited Consultant: Kar yen Chai – Singapore 2018

 

 

Co-operation and Behaviour.

 

“The mother was amazed at the instant response from the first night of using the The Goulding Process – SleepTalk® Foundation Script. Her feedback comments revealed: ‘L’ had stopped moaning about foods, doesn’t argue about reading & is better at going to school.

 

He is up by 7am every day, way more co-operative (we have only had one argument). Has had a full night’s sleep (he was being awakened by growing pains) and his attitude has changed, he is happier and is not yelling any more.  

 

He is now a cute little boy.  ‘L’ is doing his reading with no whining and not trying to run everyone’s lives. He is not so much the boss, he tries to help rather than be the boss. He now handles it well when his younger cousin steals his toys. ‘L’ used to scream going down the hallway [fear] now he is ok with it and even closes his own door.

 

Parents Comments – Mum wrote: “Thank you so much. ‘L’ has changed so much. His reading and writing is getting a lot better. He is sleeping well but still seems very tired. this is natural as he has just really started school.” 

 

“The parent is happy to continue with the Foundation statement and feels there is no real area of a Primary Area of Need at this time.  We will continue for another three months and monitor ‘L’ progress and should an issue pop up we will look at a suitable script. 

 

His ‘Physical’ improvement is 90%, ‘Academic’ shows an 80-85% improvement, his ‘Behaviour’ is a marked excellent and mum gives it a 100% improvement.

 

His ‘Emotional’ assessment has an 85% improvement noted and ‘Home’ they feel there is an overall improvement of 95 %  which has been achieved in this short time frame, and mum is amazed and so very happy that she came to the SleepTalk® Programme.

 

Accredited Consultant: Mary Tonner – NZ 2013

 

Behaviour.

 

“Despite not completing all areas of this case study, I do believe ‘C’ made progress. Within two weeks of commencing The Goulding Process- SleepTalk® ‘C’ behaviour had improved a greatly.  

 

A month in, novel situations or change of routine still made ‘C’ anxious but Mum felt there had been improvements overall and she was recovering more quickly. By three months ‘C’ was still experiencing anxiety but was able to communicate it better and overcome it quickly. 

 

So ‘C’ was still reacting to moments that created anxiety for her but not as strongly and her recovery time had been shortened. She was also able to articulate to her parents what was upsetting her. A much less reactive child than when we started the Goulding Process SleepTalk®.” 

Accredited Consultant: Marian Daish – Victoria 2017

 

Behaviour and Speech. 

 

“To finish, I just wanted to share with you the letter of feedback I received from Mum towards the end of the The Goulding Process- SleepTalk®. She goes on to say: “ What can I say, thank you, thank you, thank you – for giving me back my sweet little boy. His behaviour has done a complete turnaround. 

 

He has gone from being the trouble maker at school to telling the trouble makers how to be good and looking out for the kids who are getting led astray and getting them to go play somewhere else. Last term of school he has been coming home happy instead of teary and emotional.

 

He always wants to help me eg: Bringing shopping in from the car, clear the dishes from the table etc… He is controlling his anger. He will say to me: “I feel angry mum and I want to have a play by myself”, or “I don’t feel like talking”; therefore we don’t have too many angry days anymore. 

 

He will walk up to me at any time and give me a cuddle and a kiss and walk away and continue on with what he is doing. He is now always prepared to try something he hasn’t done before (this time last year he would not even try). 

 

His confidence has improved 100%. His speech and communication has also improved. He hardly stutters anymore, that was a nervous habit. He still has some trouble with crowds and noise. Places like shopping centres, but he tells me now when we are out. He will say something like: “It is getting too noisy. I want to go home”. Overall he is a happy and confident little boy.”

 

Accredited Consultant: 2010 Marina Fick  – Victoria 2010

 

Behaviour. 

 

“Parents feedback has been good so far and positive behavioural changes have been observed, specifically changes in social behaviour and social interactions.

 

Younger brother may unconsciously feel left out from not receiving the process. Will follow-up with mother about starting the process with younger brother.

 

Accredited Consultant: Karyen Chai – Singapore 2018

I have changed!

We have lots of things to tell.

 

The Goulding Process- SleepTalk works very well with my girls! The first born ‘M’ after the first day reacted like that: I picked her up in school; she jumped into the car and said: “it’s a happy day Mom”. She is 13 – very well balanced. SleepTalk is so good for a teenager, like her.

 

With my 2nd daughter ‘L’, she reacts not so quick. She is 10, and she is still angry in the morning, but I can tolerate her behaviour better.

 

The thing – I have changed! This two minutes every night, makes me more patient, calm and loving mother:

 

SleepTalk® Consultant Intern – Marian – Hungary – 2014

Behaviour

Negative until Proof

I had a mother, she was really negative…she thought that it will not work. I was kind of frustrated. I encouraged her over and over again.

She wanted to give up….she was so focused on the negative…I was phoning with her several times….and she was writing me negative emails where she told me what I was doing wrong….yesterday we came together for a second appointment.

With the papers you gave us – the ‘Where does my child stand now’ questionnaire I was sure, there was a change…at the end of this appointment she was so happy, she had proof that there was some improvement!!!

She could see it on the paper…! And I was excited that this person, that was so negative….had the proof…. Now she wants to go on with the process

SleepTalk® Accredited Consultant Nicole Wackernagel-Holzer – Switzerland 2014

Behavioural Difficulties

“I have had some great success with families that I have started working with.  You will be pleased to hear that a child experiencing general behavioural difficulties was able to turn it all around within a 5 week period.   His teacher commented to his parent: “ I don’t know what you’ve done but keep it up he’s a different child, such a pleasure to teach, keep it up”.   She said that all parents should be doing this for their children!   His mum was so excited and so proud to have achieved this and I’m happy for her too.”

Consultant – Mary Lynch. NSW

Education / Behaviour / Confidence

Education

Parent Feedback:  “I had read about SleepTalk® and felt that my 10-year-old son would greatly benefit from it and found that the process fitted easily into our routine as a family. We have always remained dedicated to keeping the process part of the night-time routine as our consultant advised that this was important.

We found that there was ‘feedback’ within a matter of days as my son began getting up in the morning for school in a really good mood, with plenty of energy.   Other results included the fact that my son’s teacher and head teacher noted that he had been writing more in his written work and also that he was more confident with his math’s – even asking to come in at playtime to do his math’s work!

The behaviour change that had led to this improvement in the classroom – he was now beginning to feel self-confident – also meant that he didn’t feel the need to behave in an attention-seeking manner, which could be seen as disruptive.

As my son became more confident and self-assured, it was noticeable that he began to socialise better with his peers, and the best example of this is that he began to be invited to more parties.   And we are now presenting some specific ‘suggestions’ as my son is working through important exams.

We have truly found that Goulding Process- SleepTalk® has been a tool that has been easy to fit into our routine and one that has made a huge difference to our family’s life.  There is no doubt that the program is “working”.  When my son said: “Mum, everything has been great since 3 weeks ago!”

He didn’t quite know why it was – but we knew. It was 3 weeks prior to this, that we had started the SleepTalk® program!   We continue to work with this process now and I would highly recommend it to any parent of any child. The results really do speak for themselves.”
Consultant:  Jenny Harrison – UK

 

Nail Bitting – Eating – Education – Calmness.

After 8 weeks of the The Goulding Process- SleepTalk® Foundations Phase was strictly followed everyday alternatively between both parents where huge improvements has taken place as follows: 

Although eating wasn’t a major concern, his eating habits showed obvious improvement. His motor skills has improved massively to the extent that the mother forgot there was this concern in the first place and when I drew her attention she answered that he walks perfectly well and I didn’t notice anything not normal anymore. His basketball coach is complicating his performance now and his ability to achieve goals in the game.

His study and homework time became no problem at all as the mother herself came more relaxed and was able to give choices and empathise with her son with the ability to choose her battles. 

He is doing his homework very well and that put more confidence in the mothers heart toward the capabilities of her son. He became highly confident in class, reporting bullying cases and no more acting out in class. 

Teachers also commented that his is now a happy child. His ability to stay calm become more sustained and he manages very well to control his anger after a very short period of time. His relationship with his parents became stronger and empathetic and his relationship with his little sister is full of lots of play time. 

As the nail biting was clearly a sign of anxiety and before being a habit so I introduced an additional primary statement: Just after one week this statement made a great difference with the parents, especially the father as he was participating in the Goulding Process 0 SleepTalk® regularly and it was healing for him as well.

 The parents also reported stronger bonding with their son, who has starting to express himself more frequent rather than being so introvert and they were glad to talk about emotions and feelings rather than avoiding them.

Consultant: NT – UAE 2017

Home and School Issues.

“Observation of ‘J’ includes he has improved in all areas at home and at school . Parents declined to do another Assessment as they felt just speaking the words from the Foundation programme helped even though it was not consistent.” 

Accredited Consultant & Trainer:  Marilyn Colvin Boon. Qld 2013

Education and Nail Bitting.

“The mother reports that there has been significant overall improvement for ‘Y’.  He is showing more life in his day to day activities. His Maths have improved, he is better in managing his stress from school work without throwing temper at doing difficult Maths.   

There is an improvement in his confidence regarding Study and he has proved to himself that he can do better.  Being able to overcome his carelessness at study has helped to boost his confidence in it. However his writing has declined by 15% but this is due to the new demands at school as they have started writing compositions and he is adjusting to this new demand. 

He has stopped nail biting totally and his day to day happiness has improved by 50%. He is seemingly happier and was able to remain calm and control his emotions, in particularly his anger better. His ability to work alone: Improved by 40%.  

He is learning to do his homework / spelling without supervision.  He is also able to play on his own and take interest in reading his books on his own.  His behaviour towards Parents has improved 30%.  There are less tension over school work and he is now more willing to listen and learn when I teach or guide him through certain issues.  

 

I realised that not only his behaviour is now better towards me, I feel that I no longer get angry with him as often as in the past.  We are now able to talk things out. 

The end results:  I am very pleased with the results.  During this short span of 6 months, many of my pressing concerns were resolved.  Namely nail biting, carelessness with schoolwork, improving focus or concentration at school, being able to sit still at dining table to finish his meals.  My son is now not only able to finish all his food during meal time, he is able to finish his meal with lesser time.”   

Accredited Consultant: Kilyn Liong – Singapore 2018

Heading: School, Behavior and Education.

“The parents feedback is that they can see a substantial difference and ‘P’ is already about 60% more positive going to school. The biggest change seems to be the behavior at school though, where the feedback is that ‘P’ has turned into a very lively student, when before the feedback has often been that she needs to speak up more.

 

Conclusion: The parents both feel the changes with ‘P’ and her feedback is now positive. She goes to her little brother when he cries telling him: “all feelings are ok!” Let’s see what the next couple of weeks will bring but this looks promising to me. 

Trusting the mum’s gut feeling on what the message needs to address payed off again. I loved the fact that mum was looking at the root cause of the effects. The result seems to prove us right. I am happy that ‘P’ found her confidence again.”

Accredited Consultant – Cornelia Dahinten – Zurich 2019

 Physical Issues and Education.

“After completing the mind profile questionnaire, it was great to see that ‘N’ had made improvements over the last 6 weeks.  The parents noted that particularly the negative self-talk had reduced and that ‘N’ was much better at homework now that school has gone back, in fact he was now asking to do homework.  

Working alone is still an issue and  I reminded the parent that ‘N’ now has more skills and they may need to give him the opportunity to use some of them rather than continue to scaffold him to such a great extent.  The parent agreed that this was probably the case and said he would trial giving him some tasks to complete on his own whilst loosely supervising him.

The parent noted an improvement in ‘N’ gross and fine motor skills and there was improvement in his core strength.  His concentration has also improved and this was assisting in his ability to do his school work and homework and he has also been more spontaneous showing affection to his parents.

Primary Area of Need

‘N’ was a lot calmer since the introduction of The Goulding Process- SleepTalk® and his anger was also improving, and his self-esteem had also improved.  The primary area of need for ‘N’ was around managing his anger and associated emotions.  

We felt that if he was able to remain calm and understand what was happening within him, he would be better able to respond to his environment. Suggestions were selected to reinforce the need for ‘N’ to remain calm and to further reinforce that he has the answers within himself

End Result

‘N’ has made great progress with The Goulding Process SleepTalk®.  It’s been a very slow and steady change and his parents are very supportive of the process and they have really noticed the changes within him.  

I feel that ’N’ needs the additional time to full understand and digest the suggestions embedded within the Goulding Process – SleepTalk® but that once he’s taken it on, it will penetrate and resonate quite strongly with him.  His parents expect to continue The Goulding Process – SleepTalk® for some time yet as they feel that we can make some great progress over the next few months and years.

Accredited Consultant: Mary Lynch NSW 2011

Education.

Parents Feedback: “Very positive feedback as ‘A’ has changed school without any problem. He loves his new class. All marks are in the positive range now, great eating habits and he can handle his emotions, stopped nail chewing.

 ‘A’ has moved from a problematic and annoying behaviour pattern to a much more sociable, more patient state in general, with a lot of good feedback from the elementary school teachers. 

The parents are calm now, less stress at home. The process has changed their attitudes too to ‘A’.  They are satisfied with the decision changing school as he is more open and able to communicate his feelings.”

Accredited Consultant and Trainer: Marianne Lampert.  Hungary 2014

Education.

“Despite not completing all areas of this case study, I do believe ‘C’ made progress. Her confidence with doing her homework improved and she was attempting it independently. At school she was more resilient in dealing with things that in the past would have upset her.

 

‘C’ made some good decisions at school, where she asserted herself in a positive confident way. A much more confident and less anxious child than when we started the Goulding Process – SleepTalk® 

Accredited Consultant: Marian Daish – Victoria 2017

Education.

Improvement on learning ability and more loving towards people around and has stop the nail biting and skin tearing issues. He deals separation anxiety better now and can accept the father leaving him for work. 

Sibling rivalry has also improved and the younger daughter is more understanding and negotiable. The mother said it has been very challenging for her to keep up with The Goulding Process SleepTalk® every day. It needs a lot of perseverance and consistent.  

Accredited Consultant Jen Li Soo – Singapore 2018

Education.

Mum is generally very pleased with the signs of progress of ‘A’ in the past few weeks since the Goulding Process – SleepTalk® was introduced. She sees his behaviour changing in the right direction. 

She believes it is a combination of different factors, but believe SleepTalk® is definitely helping.  Mum reports: 

  1. She enjoys very much the experience and it became a good habit for her. Generally, she has been very consistent since the beginning.
  2.   ‘A’ wakes up in the morning in a better mood, not grumpy like before. 
  3. He’s more comfortable in school and doesn’t complain about it anymore. 
  4. Dad did The Goulding Process- SleepTalk® only once as he feels uncomfortable to sit in the dark and talk to his son while seeping, “it doesn’t feel natural”.

My conclusion: The changes seen are great showing The Goulding Process- SleepTalk® has been implemented correctly by the parent and the Foundation Statements accepted by ‘A’. According to the second: Mind Profile document, the primary area of need would be: ‘Academic’ and ‘Confidence’ in general, but Mum is now happy the way “A” is and prefers to continue with Foundation statement for now instead of trying specific suggestions offered. Mum is aware she can come back to me later when she feels starting Level 2.

Accredited Consultant: Maguelonne Rousseau – 2016 – Singapore

Behaviour and Education.

Mum is generally pleased with the signs of progress of ‘L’ in the past few weeks since the Goulding Process – SleepTalk®  was introduced. The process has been implemented correctly and consistently by parents (missed 5 times in total and not even in the row). Mum reports:

1) Even though behaviour is better, she still feels that he lacks empathy towards family and friends and is generally worried about his social behaviour, especially now he’s going to enter primary school.

2) He seems to take frustration and anger a bit better but showed few times signs of being more vengeful (instead of hitting a friend or brother straight away, can control him-self more often but then keep some resentment that shows later).

3) Mum is also doing the process consistently with the little brother since the beginning.

According to the Mind Profile document number 2, the primary areas of need are Behaviour, Academic and Emotional.  We agreed on continuing the Foundation Statements for now and over Christmas period and January, and later starts a specific suggestion chosen in the General section that we have adapted.

Change of attitude regarding his behaviour and positive attitude. Mum is excited to soon start the specific suggestions!

Accredited Consultant: Maguelonne Rousseau – 2016 – Singapore

Trauma & behaviour issues

March 2010

Dear Joane, thank you for the email.  I originally heard about SleepTalk® for children in Geraldton WA about 10 years ago from a Naturopath and therapist – Maggie Parker.  I personally was seeing a hypnotherapist there for anxiety and I mentioned my concerns for my 6 yr old daughter.  She had come from an abusive home and I was worried about her confidence and self esteem.  I did SleepTalk® with her for about 2 years.  She is in year 12 now and doing really well.  Very confident self assured young lady. I now have a 7 year old boy and his parents have just separated. He is showing classic signs of trauma.  He is not doing well at school, his behaviour is shocking and he is extremely angry and confused about the separation.  I have been ripping my hair out with him lately.  I was at my wits end the other night and I was kissing him goodnight and running my fingers across his forehead telling him how much I loved him and it hit me!!!!  SLEEPTALK!!!!

So I can’t wait to get the book as I have forgotten the basics and I am so confident this will help my son immensely.  Just to pat you on the back…..about 6 years ago my niece was experiencing extreme anxiety in regards to her parents.  She couldn’t stand to be apart from them, even in sleep.  I suggested SleepTalk® to my sister and she said with in one month ‘G’ was doing really well and could even do a sleepover at a friend.  It is truly fantastic and thanks.