SleepTalk Consultants

Bed Wetting – 9 year old boy

A single mum was referred to me by a psychologist and presenting with a very unhappy (9 year old) boy suffering bed wetting, anxiety and also coming from a domestic violent family situation. B had started bedwetting when he was 5 which became worse at the age of 7 when their family separated and his father moved out with his new partner. ‘B’ has two brothers, one older, age 12 (mum describing him as very angry with violent outbursts like his father) and the other younger, age 7 (mum describing him as very withdrawn, quiet and anxious). Neither of the other brothers had bedwetting problems. Mum wanted to specifically start working with her 9 year old child, B, to help address the bedwetting straight away. Mum described the family situation as very toxic, creating difficulty in communicating with the boys’ father. Visitation had been granted for the father to see his boys once a fortnight on the weekend. Mum described ‘B’s father has very aggressive towards ‘B’ but not to the other boys and she felt this was probably due to ‘B’ being most like his mother in mannerism and appearance. Mum described the father as aggressive, violent and intimidating; making it very challenging to get the father involved and participate in the Sleep Talk for Children process (we found another way to work around this). The other challenge was that mum noticed whenever the boys returned from their fathers’ place, they would start acting out and their behaviour was out of control (fights, violent outbursts), which took at least 2 days to return to some kind of normality. Mum also described herself as being extremely anxious and hypervigilant but felt it more important to work with her boys first and then she would make steps to help herself.

We commenced the Sleep Talk for Process and within six weeks ‘B’s bedwetting had reduced down significantly by 70% and ‘B’ was demonstrating less levels of anxiety by behaving in a much more relaxed way around people. As we progressed through the Sleep Talk for Children process, it wasn’t until it was 2 months down the track that mum had noticed the older boy was starting to show signs of less aggression. At first this didn’t make sense because she was only working with ‘B’, however, apparently the boys bedrooms were all next to each other and the eldest, we will call him ‘A’ had been listening to mum implement the process through his bedroom wall. It wasn’t until a few weeks later on, ‘A’ approached mum and asked mum if he could do the same thing for him as she was doing for 9 year old ‘B’. This encouraged mum, even though she was exhausted, to start Sleep Talk with ‘A’ the 12 year old and also the youngest, 7 year old boy. As mum progressed through implementing the Sleep Talk for Children process for all boys an incredibly amazing family transformation took place.

The end result; ‘B’ 9 year old boy stopped bedwetting altogether!! B became more confident and settled. While mum was extremely impressed with this, it was actually the 12 year old she was over the moon about because she had not expected his behaviour to turn around and change completely at all from aggressive outbursts to confident, happy pre-teen. Her 12 year old ‘A’ started taking pride in himself, his self-esteem and confidence increased and his behaviour flipped over into a calmer and much more mature outlook. Mum described ‘A’ as feeling much better about himself and being the man of their house. His violent outbursts stopped completely and mum watched him change completely on so many levels. The outcome is one of the most amazing ones I have seen in my time as a Sleep Talk practitioner and to see 3 boys plus a mum turn everything around within 3 months is just one short of a miracle in my book! Everyone in the family is happier and calmer within the family home and within themselves. The youngest became more confident and settled and his anxiety levels reduced. While the fathers’ home environment remained quite toxic, we came up with a helpful strategy to continue the sleep talk process. Mum recorded her voice so the boys could to listen to her voice while they were at their fathers’ place.

Under the current circumstances, the visitation continues to have many challenges and while the boys continued to return from their fathers’ place in a more anxious state to begin with, as time progressed, they were all able to become more self-regulating with their emotions and quickly settled back into mum’s environment without it getting out of hand and at a much more manageable level than ever before.

After all of these outstanding changes mum felt ready to have some hypnotherapy for her own anxiety and hypervigilance. Mum’s changes also impacted on the boys in a very positive way. As mum improved throughout her sessions, this also created an even calmer environment for the entire family. Her boys reacted and responded to mum in a calmer settled way again.

Most importantly, the boys and mum feel much more stability, safety and confidence within themselves in mums’ home, giving them a nice feeling of security.

Nicole Lane – Accredited Consultant


Fear of dogs – 5 year old

Mum called feeling very distressed about her daughter, E who had been suffering a real phobia of dogs and also with high levels of social anxiety and separation issues. The teachers at ‘E’s’ primary school had also noted that E had been seen quite often on her own in the playground. Both parents had tried absolutely everything to help their daughter with her phobia of dogs which had got out of hand to the point where they weren’t able to visit anyone who had a dog which wasn’t locked up. In the past both parents had taken ‘E’ to see a child psychologist, a paediatrician, a male hypnotherapist (E didn’t feel comfortable with him) and a GP and nothing had been able to help their daughter up to this point. Feeling fed up and at their wits end with what to do mum told me “You are our last hope, we just don’t know what to do anymore?” The parents started the Sleep Talk for Process straight away and within a few weeks they already started to notice a marked improvement in ‘E’s level of confidence at being able to be left on her own. Within the next 6 weeks, E was beginning to demonstrate a much higher level of more confidence around dogs, herself and others. There was a very noticeable in E’s response to dogs, when they went to the park and she saw a dog instead of the old reaction to run and scream, E stayed calm and didn’t panic; both parents were amazed by such a quick positive change in behaviour. Previously she would have been petrified and screamed and now she was much calmer. During the 3 months both parents described the results as astounding. Mum said “we have our daughter back and you have changed our entire family’s lives, we can’t thank you enough”. Mum told me they can’t believe after all they have been through just how much this whole processed worked to get their girl and their family such amazing results…

The end result, E is now playing happily in the playground at school with friends, E is calm, confident and happy. E no longer suffers separation anxiety and is a happy confident little girl AND E asked her mum and dad if she could have a family pet; A DOG!!!!

Nicole Lane – Accredited SleepTalk Consultant.


15 year old daughter suffering from anxiety

Consultant report: Parents used the SleepTalk™ process for her 15 year old daughter who had been suffering from anxiety for many months. As ‘J’ lives apart from the father, she did the SleepTalk™ on her own with both her daughters.

I decided to give SleepTalk™ a go to help my 15 year old daughter ‘L’ be calmer. I would like to say that it is a most wonderful ‘program’ to follow and has really helped my daughter out in lots of ways. Our only ‘struggle’ was that teenage girls don’t go into quite as deep sleeps as they used to as little girls. But with Paola’s help and slight changes to the criteria, it worked superbly.

In the first month I started to notice a difference in ‘L’, she was a lot calmer and quietly confident. I’d also taken to texting ‘L’ every day at school telling her how much I loved her and how beautiful and clever she was. Most mornings she was now waking much calmer and a lot happier, after just 8 weeks of doing the SleepTalk™.

After about 14 weeks, I would say ‘L’ possibly had the biggest change in herself. She is no longer ‘worrying’ about life, she is much calmer and there are hardly any anxious moments. She is really enjoying school (though she already did) she is finding it easier to make new friends and is a lot happier in herself. ‘L’ had stopped having ‘bad’ thoughts: thinking that someone is going to die and that if something good happens then something bad will follow. Overall she had calmed down hugely. She just isn’t anxious anymore.

I would like to say a huge massive thank you to Paola; you are amazing and so very good at your job.

Parent Feedback – ST Paola Bagnell – 2014 UK


Improvement at school and in sport

Consultant report: Parents used the SleepTalk™ process for both their children, their son aged 9 and their daughter aged 6, to improve their confidence. I worked with ‘E’ on her own. However, she taught her husband the process and they took turns in doing the nightly routine. ‘E’ sent me this case history

My 9 year old son has loved his kickboxing class ever since he was 3. His natural perfectionist tendencies meant that he progressed so quickly, advanced so far through his grades, and did so well in competitions that he was moved up to a class for older children. He then suddenly lost his confidence in sparring with children who were bigger, stronger and had longer reach. He started getting upset, crying, panicking and freaking out when fights did not go his way and he was clearly losing his love of the sport.  I approached Paola for help and we began using SleepTalk™ in August this year specifically working on his confidence in sparring. After 4 weeks the changes were evident: He was more confident in his training, the panicking and freaking out stopped and he cried a lot less. There were other noticeable changes in his general level of confidence: He was less afraid of spiders and crane flies (which had previously disturbed him) and at a museum trip he stunned us all by volunteering to hold a tarantula in front of 250 people. His creativity and confidence in his studies improved and he soared to the top of his class where he has remained. He became more assertive and courageous in other areas: willingly going into shops on his own and launching himself off a huge zip-wire without hesitation. Within 8 weeks of starting SleepTalk™ his sparring had significantly improved. Two incidents around this time highlighted the change: After being punched whilst sparring with a 20 year old he started to cry but quickly responded when his coach to ‘stop crying and get angry’ and went on to win the next three rounds. His coach commented that he had never seen him fight with such speed and commitment and asked “What have your parents been doing – giving you ox blood for breakfast?” In early December he was awarded a special badge with the words ‘Sparring Champion’ on it for being the ‘most improved’ in sparring. He is now asking us to enter him in national competitions.

I should mention that in line with Paola’s recommendations we simultaneously used SleepTalk™ for our 6 year old daughter whose teacher had told us that she needed more confidence in speaking and performing in front of other people. With Paola’s help we tailored our suggestions to this need and again the changes were noticeable. She has since started piano lessons (something she previously resisted) and loves them, joined a performing dance group and volunteered for a speaking part in the Nativity play where she coped brilliantly when, at the last minute, she was given additional lines to cover for another child.

I have no doubt that SleepTalk™ has produced amazing results for both of my children in a few short months. They have both gained in confidence and ability and are clearly getting more out life. SleepTalk™ has also improved our relationship with the children and each other. The two minutes of love that we give them every night offsets the usual stresses and careless remarks of the day and re-aligns us all to our true feelings for each other. It is a beautiful practice and one that I will continue as long as it remains beneficial.

Parent Feedback – ST Consultant: Paola Bagnell – 2014 UK


Sleep Issues / Anxiety

Outwardly ‘V’ is a bubbly, chatty and very active child. However her parents have a tough time getting ‘V’ to bed, feeding is a nightmare and ‘V’ doesn’t accept other people. Her reaction is, “No, go away!”

I taught Dad and Mom the Sleep Talk (ST) process.  After one night of ST, Dad emailed, very excited to report that ‘V’ had her regular hair cut without a single of tear. As ‘V’ doesn’t take well to strangers touching her, even the same hair-dresser who has been cutting her hair all this while, is not accepted. She cries and frets at each and every hair cutting session. This time, to quote Mom: “She just sat there calmly throughout the whole time, no tears, is it a coincidence?”  I replied, “No, it’s Sleep Talk”.

The next positive incident was a follow-up x-ray session to check on the progress of her operation. ‘V’ had a fall and broke her collar-bone. The pain and trauma of strangers in white coats and covered faces makes her scream, cry and cling on to mom and dad for dear life. After about 1 week of ST, ‘V’ allowed the nurse to take her from mom’s arms, sat on the cold steel platform by herself in the dim x-ray room, and had her x-ray taken without a single tear or whimper!

Going to bed was a one to two hour ritual every night; afternoon naps were 20 -30 minutes to the max. Mom had to stay with her at kindi and friends of her parents do not have the privilege to play with or hold her. She would say, “No, go away”. Meal times are an endurance test for mom. ‘V’ will eat a little of an item, then a bite of another and another…. Proper meals with meat, vegetables and rice are rejected.  Mom was totally exhausted, physically and emotionally trying to keep up with ‘V’.

Stayed on with the Foundation Statement for 4 months, completed the 3rd “Where Now” document, and after discussing the ‘Primary area of need’, we agreed to add a support suggestion:  I advised parents to play games with ‘V’ to teach her the meaning of “safe” before using the support suggestion.

With ST, ‘V’ has now transformed into a very confident little angel who does not hesitate to apologize if she’s in the wrong. Going to bed is much easier and parents can walk out of the room after about 20 minutes. ‘V’ is willing to try more healthy new food and is also putting on some weight. She can also interact with people now and as the father puts it: “I do not have to worry about emergency calls at work from Mom or pushing the job  of getting ‘V’ to sleep to one another.  Productivity at work also increased as there is no more stress of having to rush home from the office when an “emergency” arise.

2013 – Elis Soo – Consultant – Malaysia


Mom totally exhausted

Outwardly ‘V’ is a bubbly, chatty and very active child. However her parents have a tough time getting ‘V’ to bed, feeding is a nightmare and ‘V’ doesn’t accept other people. Her reaction is, “No, go away!”

I taught Dad and Mom the Sleep Talk (ST) process.  After one night of ST, Dad emailed, very excited to report that ‘V’ had her regular hair cut without a single of tear. As ‘V’ doesn’t take well to strangers touching her, even the same hair-dresser who has been cutting her hair all this while, is not accepted. She cries and frets at each and every hair cutting session. This time, to quote Mom: “She just sat there calmly throughout the whole time, no tears, is it a coincidence?”  I replied, “No, it’s Sleep Talk”.

The next positive incident was a follow-up x-ray session to check on the progress of her operation. ‘V’ had a fall and broke her collar-bone. The pain and trauma of strangers in white coats and covered faces makes her scream, cry and cling on to mom and dad for dear life. After about 1 week of ST, ‘V’ allowed the nurse to take her from mom’s arms, sat on the cold steel platform by herself in the dim x-ray room, and had her x-ray taken without a single tear or whimper!

Going to bed was a one to two hour ritual every night; afternoon naps were 20 -30 minutes to the max. Mom had to stay with her at kindi and friends of her parents do not have the privilege to play with or hold her. She would say, “No, go away”. Meal times are an endurance test for mom. ‘V’ will eat a little of an item, then a bite of another and another…. Proper meals with meat, vegetables and rice are rejected.  Mom was totally exhausted, physically and emotionally trying to keep up with ‘V’.

Stayed on with the Foundation Statement for 4 months, completed the 3rd “Where Now” document, and after discussing the ‘Primary area of need’, we agreed to add a support suggestion:  I advised parents to play games with ‘V’ to teach her the meaning of “safe” before using the support suggestion.

With ST, ‘V’ has now transformed into a very confident little angel who does not hesitate to apologize if she’s in the wrong. Going to bed is much easier and parents can walk out of the room after about 20 minutes. ‘V’ is willing to try more healthy new food and is also putting on some weight. She can also interact with people now and as the father puts it: “I do not have to worry about emergency calls at work from Mom or pushing the job  of getting ‘V’ to sleep to one another.  Productivity at work also increased as there is no more stress of having to rush home from the office when an “emergency” arise.

Elis Soo – Consultant – Malaysia 2013

 


Children who have been abused

Parent’s personal story received from an accredited consultant.

I am a single mum of 3 very active boys, and I began using sleep talk with my 2 youngest children aged 7 & 10 four months ago.  My 13 year old was proving to be more difficult to use the technique on, but I began a modified approach of turning a light on instead of stroking his face about 6 weeks ago, and I have noticed a marked improvement in all my childrens’ behaviour as a result.

My children unfortunately have grown up in a family environment that involved emotional abuse and at times verbal and physical abuse from their father.  After 2 &1/2 years post separation, and my children only seeing their father every second weekend, their behaviour was still a copy of their father’s, as they had grown up for many years seeing how he behaved. They were highly anxious, and pretty much anything could trigger a violent explosion of rage which involved physical abuse to me or their brothers or destruction of property, including holes in walls, doors and a smashed window. They were having massive tantrums that were uncontrollable, and they needed to be physically restrained for them to stop. It was an exhausting cycle for all.

Throughout the post separation, my children all attended regular counselling and my eldest son is seeing a psychologist who specializes in children who are violent to their parents. They were getting a lot of support, but they still communicated on a level where they deliberately ‘baited’ each other, which always ended in some form of abuse between each other, and at times me.

I was finding it extremely difficult to break the cycle of abuse they had learned, and how to teach them to use a new type of communication that involved; respect, thoughtfulness and kindness. My psychologist recommended me to Nicola Lane as my 2 youngest sons were still bed wetting, and she had heard from Nicola that she had successful reports of treating this issue.

When I met Nicola she discussed “Sleep Talk” with me. I had never heard of it, but thought if I could reduce the general level of anxiety in our house hold, as well as curing the bed wetting then it was worth a shot.

At first I noticed a slow change in the feel of the household, whilst beginning the process, and I can confidently say that today I have quiet moments in our house where my children are content in their own space, without trying to ‘get a reaction’ from someone. My children are now able to communicate to me and each other using respectful language and the general ‘angst’ in the household has been significantly reduced.

Whilst my 2 youngest still bed wet, I have noticed that the amount of urine produced over night is significantly less, which is an improvement that I have not had consistently in the past. I am confident that will settle over time, with the continual use of sleep talk.  It’s my eldest son that I have noticed such a marked improvement in, in such a short time. He has a new found general level of respect for me, and follows instructions without a constant barrage of excuses and stalling  behaviour. Given his teen age moods are beginning it’s a blessing.

My middle son suffered from high levels of anxiety, which inhibited his learning process at school. His spelling in particular improved, so that within 3 months he had stopped needing special assistance and a lower level of literacy work sheets, he moved up to the same level as the rest of the class, which increased his self-esteem immensely.

I know I have implemented a lot of strategies over the past few years, but it is my firm belief that Sleep Talk has both complemented and hastened the outcome I have been trying so hard to achieve. I have even gone on to receive hypnotherapy sessions myself, as I recognised that my past trauma was surfacing when my children became abusive, and I wasn’t able to react in a manner that was always the most effective. A lot of time I would simply freeze and/or shut down when my children physically abused me. That no longer happens, and my children now are receiving a different reaction from me when they become abusive.

I find the words in ‘Sleep Talk’ to be really comforting to me when I read them to my boys. In the early days when my boys became agitated I would say the first few lines to them and by the 3rd time they would start to relax in my arms. The words were soothing to them and for me using them, to help reduce their personal anguish.

I would highly recommend ‘Sleep Talk’ to any parent. In my opinion it helps a family function in a healthy manner, fostering love between all members and depending on the ‘support statements’ used, it can be a highly effective way to modify beliefs, and accordingly behaviour that stems from those beliefs.

Whilst the process does require commitment from the parent to do it on a regular basis and you do need to keep track of bed times, it is well worth the energy, and you will be rewarded over and over with the resulting change to your children. Compared to some of the challenges I have dealt with, using Sleep Talk has been remarkably easy, and my commitment to it has given my family at times a new found sense of peace, love and calmness, that has been sadly lacking in our lives for a very long time.

Accredited and registered consultant:  Nicola Lane – Australia 2012– Nicola Lane – Australia.


Habitual cough, stress, anxiety

7 February 2012

I met with Mr and Mrs B in February 2012 in relation to their 7 year old son who at the time had a habitual cough.  The cough was believed to be in relation to anxiety and personal confidence and parents ruled out any allergies or medical conditions.

B was using an inhaler for asthma and was taking vitamins.

B’s Mum spoke about B’s habitual behaviours such as chewing of clothes, smelling hands and more recently a persistent cough that teachers were noticing at school as were B’s peers. It was something that was causing anxiety and upset for parents and was very obvious at school and at home.

Aside from this behaviour, B was also tearful in class and would complain about having tummy aches and headaches. Mum and Dad said that B was quite irrational at times and was tearful and would rage.

I spoke with parents at the end of March and B’s teacher had said that B had had a good term, the cough had decreased and that she had noticed improvements whilst in the classroom.  During the Easter holidays parents reported that the cough was minimal.  B then started back to school and the weekend prior to going back to school the cough had returned.

To note – the process was stopped over the Easter holidays as parents went away on holiday and were unable to fit the technique in with routine.

I advised that behaviour may have reverted as the process had stopped for two weeks and with this in mind it was suggested to continue with the basic foundation words for a further two weeks until we had seen improvements in the cough again for us to then move onto the support stage where we would add specific words for B to the foundation words. Parents had also had a consultant check up prior to their holiday abroad and B had been weaned off the inhaler that he was on and all allergies had been tested and it was shown that there were no food allergies, milk allergies and no environment allergies.  Mum was advised by Doctor that it was possibly anxiety related and that B would grow out of it.
17 April 2012

I met with B’s Mum mid April and there had been a further improvement again in the cough within the two weeks of delivering the foundation words again. Mum reported that the cough had decreased again and commented that they had watched a program the week prior and couldn’t hear it as B was coughing so much through it. One week later they watched the same program with ease as B’s habitual cough had decreased.

Other things that were reported by Mum were that B was now more receptive to going to other children’s houses to play, talking more expressively and displaying through words that he was able to rationalise more in his mind.  B was also happy to read with more confidence and was applying himself more in his studies.

The behaviour of hand smelling had stopped in the first 6 weeks and although B was still having outbursts they were more stable than they had been before. We decided on the support words to add to the foundation words which were: You are calm, safe and in control.

22 May 2012

I spoke with B’s Mum to check progress and Mum reported that she couldn’t remember the last time that B had coughed. It was recommended to continue with the process for a further two months.

Consultant: Jenny Harrison UK


Anxiety

I have been doing just the foundation statement for the last 3 weeks and have noticed that when my 18 month old wakes now she is not screaming or crying out my name. In the last few days she has been in her cot playing and laughing.

Thanks again SleepTalk Mum ‘V’


Affected by bushfires

We heard about your book from a dear friend who has used the techniques for her daughter, they lost their home in the Traralgon bush fires in 2009, and even though her daughter was only seven months old at the times it affected her a lot, my friend now has a bubbly child that would give you the world if she could.  I am planning to use the techniques in the book alongside the elimination diet in a book called: “Fed up” by Sue Dengate.  We are hoping that with a change of diet which removes preservatives and additives, along with your book of techniques we will have a child that is a lot easier to deal with and more aware of how others feel when he acts in his ways. I look forward to working with you and to a happier family without arguments.

2012 SleepTalk Mum.  MF


Anxiety

I have been doing just the foundation statement for the last 3 weeks and have noticed that when my 18 month old wakes now she is not screaming or crying out my name. In the last few days she has been in her cot playing and laughing.

Thanks again, SleepTalk Mum, ‘V’


Toileting, Anxiety, Sibling Rivalry Issues

Presenting Situation.
“Jan 5th 2011 – ‘N’ is an 8 year old girl presenting with bedwetting and faecal enuresis. Her parents have tried “everything” in the past and she has been undergoing counselling in the past year.  Though a very bright child, N’s parents report extreme anxiety and difficult behaviours, notably a troubled relationship with her 10 year old sister.”

Foundation process
“N saw enormous changes in a very short time frame, on commencing SleepTalk®. Though in the past she had been afraid to go anywhere on her own and would struggle to deal with anger and anxiety – mostly resulting in “melt downs”, within the first three weeks, ‘N’ had showed a significant turnaround.

N’s parents reported a number of changes after three weeks.
More able to talk through concerns calmly without melt downs.
Walked to the shops and scouts on her own.
Asked to go to school camp.
Had the first dry nights of her life.
Stopped hiding (and lying about) soiled pants and stopped soiling.
Happy to talk on the phone to people.

Parents report enormous positive feedback! And these are just some of the main examples. Even with such positive changes and feedback, ‘N’s parents expressed there was still some way to go with N’s ability to deal with anger, with her self-esteem and they expressed significant concern over N’s continued troubled relationship with her elder sister.

We chose to keep the ‘Foundation’ statements for some weeks longer and added in the sibling support statement, suspecting that the sibling relationship is potentially the prime area of pain and anxiety for ‘N’.”

Follow up
“On contacting ‘N’s parents three weeks later, I was informed that almost instantly after adding in the sibling support statement, ‘N’ regressed. She began (and continued to) soiling and bedwetting again and was less cooperative.  We chose to continue but not change the statements whilst ‘N’ was unsettled – and two weeks later the parents reported seeing slow improvement. She is very cognitive about the issue now too – shows a real willingness to beat the issue and a desire to be clean. She is well on her way to conquering her toileting troubles!”

Conclusion
“This continues to be a very interesting case to work with. ‘N’ had an extreme abreaction to the addition of a sibling support statement. This fits with the parent’s information given about the troubled sibling relationship and appears to be a deep source of anxiety and stress for ’N’. It seems that, upon adding that her sister loves her, her brain was not able to neither compute this nor take it on as truth easily. A month on and she is showing marked improvement but still has some way to go. Her parents remarked: “Thank God for SleepTalk®!” and are very grateful for the obvious effect it has had in their lives. I am grateful for their willingness to stick to the program with patience, noting that it is not a quick fix for their daughter but is slowly working love through the deepest parts of her doubts and fears. What a wonderful thing to watch.”

Up Date: 20 April 2011
“The mum just emailed me to let me know that it has finally turned a corner! Toileting issues have been under total control for a week now (and most of last week) and she is a “happy little girl”. Mostly holidays are bad for her – I guess, having her sister around with her full time – but they have been coasting through that alright too.  Great news to hear…just thought I’d let you know!”

SW – Consultant.


Asperger’s Syndrome / Anxiety / Nightmares

Session 1

Presenting Issue
“J” is a very anxious child who has a fear of being left behind by his parents. He is also experiencing night tremors, stuttering, nail biting, lack of confidence and is melodramatic and “sooky”.

Detailed Case History
“J” was lost at a carnival a year before and since then does not let his parents out of his sight. If his parents need to go somewhere without him he has an anxiety attack (trouble breathing and panicking).

His parents need to sit with him and explain they will come back each and every day before going to work, before dropping him off at school or to other family members if they need to go out. Even when his parents are in the next room and “J” cannot see them he continually calls out for reassurance that they are still nearby.

This is all becoming a big burden to “J”’s parents but their main concern is school. One of them has to stay at school, stay through assembly and wait around until “J” goes into class. “J” is also very sensitive and is not integrating with others in his class.
“J”’s parents are also concern with his melodramatics e.g. if he knocks his leg then all hell breaks loose even if there is no damage/cut/blood etc.

Process/Discussion
I explained the SleepTalk Process to “S” and “J”, answered any questions/concerns and then we proceeded to complete “Where Does My Child Stand Now?” (see attached).
The major areas highlighted as Very Poor/Poor in this process were:

  • Reading Skills
  • Nail Biting
  • Ability to Remain Calm
  • Ability to Cope Without Parents

“S” and “J” both committed to the SleepTalk Process and couldn’t wait to get home and start.

 

Session 2

Feedback
“S” and “J” were amazed at the change in “J” over a four week period. As we went through “Where Does My Child Stand Now” there were significant improvements in specific areas up to 80%.

“J” had a couple of evenings where he didn’t complete the script, as one evening “J” sat bolt upright in bed and “J” thought he was awake so he just said “I love you” and left the room. Another evening “J” just said “I know, I know” so “J” again said “I love you” and left the room.
Both “S” and “J” have been diligent about working with “J” every night. In four weeks they only missed two evenings.

  • Not experiencing any night tremors
  • School has been fun – he now “loves his friends”
  • No more waiting in assembly line.
  • Happy to say goodbye each morning to go to school.
  • Hasn’t been asking (over the last two weeks), “where are you?”
  • No longer biting his nails – “S” had to actually cut them
  • Is spending longer periods of time alone playing.
  • Has come out of his shell at school and more a leader than a follower.
  • Cut his finger a week ago and did not whine, was not as dramatic and managed to stay calm.
  • Had to leave “J” with his cousin for a day and they were going to go swimming. This would normally be a nightmare but once “S” told him and asked if he would be OK, he said “I’m a bit nervous but I will be OK”

Primary Area of Need
The family is moving to a country town in a month and “J” needs to start a new school. “S” and “J” have discussed this with him and he seems OK but they would like to continue with SleepTalk to ensure that he copes well with this move and fits into his new school with the minimum of anxiety.

Specific Suggestions Given
We all worked together to formulate the following suggestion:
You’re safe, you belong and it’s OK to be you.

 

Session 3

Feedback
This session was completed by phone:
The move has gone well for “J”. He had a reoccurrence of night tremors in the first week but has not had any further occurrences. He has assimilated fantastically at his new school and has made a lot of new friends.

“J” is also enjoying the rural life and loves playing with the farm animals and not worrying about where his parents are at all times.

End Result
“S” and “J” said they will keep using SleepTalk, alternating between the foundation process and their primary suggestion.


Tantrums / Bullying / Sibling Rivalry / Speech / Anxiety / Pooing Issues / Refusing Food

B was almost 3 at the time that her Mum commenced Sleeptalk ® with her. B has a new baby sister, E two months old. Mum says that B is a confident, interested and energetic child. B is a “strong-willed” child, who likes to do “her own thing”. However, B doesn’t always listen to or follow Mum’s directions, or cooperate with Mum, eg holding hands when in the carpark for safety, which concerned Mum. To get Mum’s attention, B often pushes other children at crèche, pokes her sister or pulls on her arm (daily) or will cry. Mum noted a there was a bit of sibling rivalry going on. B will hit her head on the floor or walls at times, throwing tantrums. When things don’t go right or when she wants her own way, Mum says that B overacts.

B speech had been assessed and found to be 6 months behind her age appropriate development (ie limited vocabulary, enunciation concerns, not speaking clearly enough to be understood, etc). As a result she visits a Speech Therapist regularly. B responds well to routine, eg bed-time which has a pre-warning beforehand and a bed-time story which works well Mum says. Although B sleeps through the night, she usually takes sometime to settle initially. B reacts strongly towards specific things and will cry straight away. For instance, at the sight of the vacuum cleaner she will immediately start crying and run to her room or when shown Tigger (the toy tiger) which when wound up will bounce and jump around. B likes and wants order Mum says, eg the doll has to have her hat off. Although previously toilet trained, B had fissures now, so was reluctant to do ‘poos’ (often holding on for some days before going), or go to the toilet to do ‘poos’ due to the pain involved. While Mum has sought medical advice and treatment, she says that B goes and puts on a ‘pull-up’ herself to do ‘poos’ in, rather than going in the toilet.
While Mum said that she would commit to this process, she nevertheless said on parting that “We’ll see if it works”, which l found interesting.

SleepTalk ® Foundation Process commenced.
Spoke with Mum a couple of days after our first meeting and she said that she felt confident giving the SleepTalk ® process. Sent sms after two weeks; all going well Mum reported.

Four weeks into the SleepTalk ® process, spoke with Mum on the phone to arrange our next meeting. Mum said that she had been able to do SleepTalk ® each night, only missing a couple of nights. Mum said that B was more calm and cooperative now, even stopping, looking and listening to Mum at times which didn’t happen before. B had even begun to hold Mum’s hand in the carpark, which Mum was very pleased about.

Second meeting with Mum
A number of substantial improvements in B’s development and behaviour were recognised and noted during this meeting; most with an increase of 10-15%. In reflection and comparison, Mum was able to identify that B had become calmer, more cooperative and focused, and her speech had improved. This was also noted by the Speech Therapist, two weeks earlier (who is interested in finding out more about SleepTalk ®). Mum said that now B was more focused in her play and activities, instead of having ‘excess’ energy as previously, eg not swinging from the curtains as much. B was now more placid, more affectionate, giving more cuddles, especially in the mornings. B was more sharing and caring of her baby sister, saying ‘gentle’ when touching the baby which was welcomed by Mum. Her speech had improved greatly, with B saying new words, more sentences, making more sense in her communication, reciting songs and speaking more clearly. Whereas previously B refused to even try any new foods at all, she was now more willing to even put these foods to her lips and taste them. Increased interest in sharing books with her Mum and letting her Mum read to her and talking with her about books through the day had occurred.

B was playing, sharing and dealing with other kids at crèche better, with less aggression – not snatching toys from them or hitting them as much. B was communication with other children had improved and was verbalizing more. Her concentration on one activity was lasting a lot longer, being more attentive and focused. While her imagination and creativity had become greater, making up games with play dough, wearing objects as ‘crowns’, making up songs.

B’s behaviour at home and in public had become less demonstrative, by compiling with and following Mum’s directions more (eg holding hands in the carpark, packing up toys when asked), with the head banging/throwing tantrums occurring only occasionally. Mum believed as she had put more boundaries in place and B was listening more, she could reason with B and explain consequences to her. Because of this, B was following through more positively rather than reacting negatively by screaming, throwing tantrums, etc. B was not being sent to her room as much for time out. Rather than becoming frustrated quickly with things, B had become calmer with everyday activities, such as tying shoe laces, or when a puzzle piece was missing or didn’t fit.

Mum believed that B’s level of anxiety had reduced (eg trying to eat more things, more willing to do things, calmer, etc); she could even touch the vacuum cleaner now after it was turned off. However she still reacted by yelling “NO” when Tigger appeared. Greater self-help skills by B were recognised by Mum, with B washing her hands after toileting and when appropriate, packing up toys and putting away, cooperating more with less resistance and fighting. While B still wanted to wear pull-ups for ‘poos’, she had started to go to the toilet by herself without being taken by her Mum. Although Dad is not taking part in the nightly SleepTalk ® process, he can see a difference in B’s behaviour Mum said.

Choosing the Primary Area of Need

In determining B’s Primary Area of Need, two priorities were selected by Mum: toileting and speech. Mum is very concerned and anxious, wanting to do all she can to help with B’s speech development, which had improved the Speech Therapist had told her. However, of the two areas, Mum wanted B to be able to go to the toilet to do ‘poos’, without holding on or thinking that it would still be painful. Mum felt that her daughter was becoming constipated regularly because of this which also worried Mum. A specific statement “You can do ‘poos’ in the toilet easily – its OK”, was agreed upon and a follow up appointment made for 6 weeks’ time.