Temper Tantrums

Real Turn Around with Temper Tantrums

The Goulding Process – SleepTalk®  has been given me amazing responses and I keep on helping mothers around the globe!

 

The change in ‘L’ has been seen in his behavior 360 degree and not only, the health related issues has been improved a lot and I can tell you that I am very very pleased and feel accomplished.

 

Thanks million for everything you thought me, happy to meet and learn from you in person, you are such an inspiration!!!

 

Accredited SleepTalk® Consultant – Dubai 2015 – Amalia Paraschiv

 

More Affectionate

Parent Feedback: “Father commented that the Goulding Process- SleepTalk® has become a nightly routine for the family.  Even when the Father is lazy at times or forgot,  the wife will remind him to do it.

 

They had only missed one night ever since starting the SleepTalk® process.  I questioned why the wife is not doing it and he said that both are committed but she has more household chores to do so he will share out the load.

 

Recently the parents had a gathering with their friends and it surprised the parents that ‘S’ made friends with them easily and even willing to hold hands with them to go for a walk.

 

In addition, nowadays when parents try to wake him up, he is happier to wake up and sometimes even able to wake up on his own in the mornings.   The Father commented that his son really is waking up ‘Bright and Happy’. 

 

‘S’ is able to express his emotions better and the Father felt that his son has grown up a lot during these 3 months.   Previously whenever S did something wrong,  he would said ‘sorry’ when told to say so without much feelings and understanding that he really did something wrong.

 

The Father commented that recently he would give random kisses and hugs to the parents, showing his affection more openly to his parents, which was a pleasant surprise to his parents. ‘S’ is less possessive of his Mother even though there are some changes in the care arrangement such as Mother has resumed full-time working. ‘S’ maintains a positive mood when it is time for him to go to school and Mother has to go to work.

 

Conclusion: My learning from this case experience is that this wonderful Goulding Process- SleepTalk®  has benefitted parents by teaching them about positive parenting.   The parents recognized it as taking care of the ‘now’ for the sake of their child’s future and it is good to start at an early age.”

Accredited Consultant: Tan May Chin: – Singapore 2016 

 

Tantrums Much Less Frequent

“A young boy whose mother had committed suicide 5 months ago was having various challenges in his life. He stopped playing with other children and didn’t go outside unless his dad made him.

 

He was unable to sleep in his own bed and generally was in a difficult place. He expressed lots of anger and had tantrums on a daily basis. His relationship with his father was strained as his mother and father had separated a year before she took her life and dad was not living at home.

 

Within weeks of starting the Goulding Process – SleepTalk® there were significant changes already visible. ‘H’ started to play with other children again.

 

He started to go outside and enjoy playing in the yard, his relationship with his father changed almost completely – he started to show affection like never before and within a month was sleeping in his own bed.

 

He still has tantrums – though much less frequently – this will be something we focus on as we move forward with The Goulding Process- SleepTalk®.”

Consultant: Philip Donegan – Ireland 2009

 

Now a Normal Happy Child

“Initially ‘J’ was just having problems at day care. When the parents came to see me to learn The Goulding Process – SleepTalk® they had just moved her to a new school. It had been suggested to the parents that they should take her to see a child psychologist, which they did and were then told that she ‘might’ be on the autistic spectrum.

 

At that time she was having significant challenges with anger and having uncontrollable tantrums. Mom and dad felt helpless and fearful that there might be something really wrong and were waiting on an appointment with an occupational therapist. While with the psychologist ‘J’ diagnosis was given to the parents while she was in the room!

 

Within the first two weeks of starting The Goulding Proces SleepTalk® there was significant abreaction, the parents recall it definitely got worse before it got better. But this just lasted a few days.

 

Something that we noticed happened with ‘J’ each time we introduced ‘any’ new suggestion to the process. And although we noticed feedback in the form of increased affection – especially with Mom and overall being happier we decided to continue the foundation process for almost two months before we moved to a primary area of need. 

 

By the time we moved to the first primary area of need ‘J’ was already generally calmer and having less frequent tantrums. Her parents have done a wonderful job of being consistent and continuing the process, something that I have found to be one of the biggest challenges with parents after the first two months.

 

In the last year I have seen the parents six times and each time we add to or adjust our suggestions to help with a variety of issues. Today the parents, who have just had another child report that they feel if they had not found The Goulding Process -SleepTalk® their daughter would not be the normal, happy child she is today.”

Consultant: Philip Donegan – Ireland 2009

 

 

Lessening of Temper Tantrums 

“The mother by this point had been very satisfied with the progress of her child and the second phase of suggestions were given to her that included feeling loved, safe, and calm.

 

The mother continues to report improvements in her son’s behaviour including lessened intensity of squabbles with the granddad, although she believes that is mostly the grandfather’s fault.

 

She was advised to have her parents join in on the Goulding Process to accelerate results as well as possibly allow the relationship between CS1 and his grandfather to evolve”

Professional Intern: NS – UAE

 

Improvements increased Weekly

“ The Goulding Process- SleepTalk® was recommended and explained thoroughly and the need to do it to all kids where the mother can approach the teenagers from a bit of a distance or the door step because of his age. 

 

After 12 weeks of offering the Phase 1  Foundation stage It was strictly followed everyday by the mother and she recorded the voice of the father as he used to travel a lot. 

 

Mum started reporting changes every week. First they were smaller changes where the tantrums took just a little bit less time and the improvements increased weekly.

 

Mum became so motivated with the process and the obvious changes for the whole 12 weeks.! Her son’s tantrums times and length kept getting shorter and more manageable. He was able to control his nerves and even started thinking positively and looking at the good side in situations. 

 

He became more confident and not venerable to simple situations where he became so flexible and secure within. He was also able to speak up for himself and report situations where he needed to explain himself and his reactions and he was convincing and never lied. 

 

His teachers started reporting significant changes and by the end of the year he was given an award for best behaviour in school which left the mother thrilled.! 

 

The relationship with siblings softened gradually and now they are more understanding and tolerant to each other. Mother reported that he is even more empathetic with his older brother and sister.! 

 

The siblings relationship became much stronger as the communication between them got stronger and they were able to talk, set rules and follow them through and she is enjoying him outside everywhere even in the mall which used to be a great challenge!  

 

Mum also reported that he doesn’t like to spend more time alone than he used to do before!  Harmony was restored to the whole home and she felt much happier and reported that she felt her life has changed.

Consultant: NT – UAE 2017

 

Anger

Something truly amazing and magical happened,

 

one day my younger son, ‘D’  just came up to me smiled and said “D….. Loves You”.I was so surprised as he has never said that before.

 

He used to be always angry but The Goulding Process – SleepTalk has completely changed him. I get to see his beautiful smile very often now. I just wanted to hear it those words again and again so I told him to repeat what he said and he smiled and said again D……Loves You”

 

I just want to say Thank you so very much to you and Karen for “waking me up” to correct what I had not done before, which is to give Unconditional Love to my children.  Have a wonderful weekend. Best regards.

 

SleepTalk®  Consultant Intern – Shanti. Singapore – 2014

 

Anger.

 

The end result: the 7 years old child is calmer and more balanced. He rarely wet his bed a night and sleeps through the night.  When he looses it now, he doesn’t wet himself anymore, only shouts out angrily and that’s it.

 

During the past 3 months, the mother has been persistently using the instructions she has received. I observed that all the children as well as the mom are more relaxed, and the family atmosphere is more harmonious and relaxed.

 

Accredited Consultant: Molnárné Kecskés Mónika Hungary – 2019

 

Anger

 

“Had a very positive result, her sleep improved by 90% and so did her ability to remain calm and deal with anger. She is very affectionate with all family members including her sister who previously was scratched and bitten by her daily.

 

 She has also become completely toilet trained and dry at night. Speech was also an issue, so after introducing additional ‘specific’ suggestions, the educators commented at her day care: “She has really found her voice and become confident and outgoing”.

 

The parents will continue to use the Goulding Process-  SleepTalk® to help her navigate her way through future changes and make good choices.”

 

Accredited Consultant: Olivia Walford – Vic 2018

 

Anger 

 

“Two weeks later at a follow up appointment, the complaints of the parents had totally transformed. New problems came up such as poor and rushed handwriting, being quite annoying when he wants things (especially if his friends have them, poor response to peer pressure), did not share willingly and was bossy. 

 

His nail biting had further improved and his anger issues had begun to subside, and he had also begun to recall his classwork more easily. By this point he had been started on medication.

 

The father added in that his son overestimates his abilities and was afraid he was being smug, proud or hubris. He would take out his frustrations on his little sister by pushing her around, especially if his parents were not around to guide him, but could be calmed if sent to his room. 

 

A month later, at the final follow up after the foundation process the symptoms checklist once again looked remarkably different. The parents came in reporting absolutely nothing as less than good. 

 

His anger and anxiety issues had reportedly disappeared, and his parents reported 55% improvement in socially acceptable behaviour, 85% improvement in nail biting, and 70% improvement in stress levels reflected on parents.”

 

Professional Intern: NS – UAE

 

Argumentative.

 

Mother notices that he tends to wake up with smiley face and more calm. She also notices that her sleep quality is getting better and his energy level is improving.

 

Not only this, he also becomes more responsive and tends to be more loving toward his sibling. He is more easier to accept suggestion and less argument with mother. 

 

Accredited Consultant – Hiro Koo Kian Yong – Malaysia 2018

 

 

Anger, tantrums

Mum of two talks about how The Goulding Process helped her two children.

Audio only.

Anger

Hi Joane, I’d like to take the time to thank you for sharing your amazing technique with the world. Sleeptalk has been remarkable for my little boy who was always angry/grumpy/moody, not sleeping well, felt unsafe etc to become so happy, resilient, positive and far less anxious – this happened over night!

I had exhausted all avenues in regards to “finding a solution to making him better” and feel so relieved to finally find the key to his issues. I still do not know why he was the way he was as we have tried to be good parents over the years but we are grateful to have a much more harmonious household! Now I see this is what having children should be like.

Thank you again. I have told so many friends about your book over the past few weeks and hope you get some sales from it.

SleepTalk Mum – AW June 2012

Anger issues

How timely that I received this feedback from a Yarra Valley Mum right in the midst of National Families Week. It’s truly a Goosebumps Moment.

Goosebumps Moment is when I receive feedback like this:

The Goulding Process has completely changed my relationship with my children and helped with my stress and anger issues regarding my family. I am forever grateful to be given the tools to help my children now so that they have a fabulous future. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”  Yarra Valley Mum of 9 & 6 year olds.

Read full story here: www.cultivate.com.au/nataliesblog.php

2012 – Goulding SleepTalk Trainer – Vic – Natalie Cossar

OCD / Nightmares / Speech / Anger

Yarra Valley Practitioners Project (YVPP) SleepTalk® for Children – Case study mothers report:
Our experience with SleepTalk® so far – 29.7.10 -17.2.11

“I first heard about SleepTalk® in our school newsletter.  My son was just about to turn 6 years old and in the middle of prep at primary school.  We did not lose our home or loved ones but we were impacted and present for the black Saturday bushfires in February, 2009 and it is fair to say that our experiences on that day have changed our lives forever.  My son, who was generally a happy little boy and very well behaved became unsettled and anxious, trying to fit in at school and struggling a little with his speech which was in turn affecting his reading and writing at school, causing much frustration, resulting in anger.  Just to compound this we had also recently began getting rather excessive, compulsive about hand washing.

I went to my first SleepTalk® session, really just to explore what it was about.  To be completely honest it all sounded a little mumbo jumbo and had me thinking “I don’t know if I believe in this stuff being able to make a difference”. Now 6½ months on after considering I had nothing to lose but 2 minutes a night, I am so thankful for SleepTalk®, as the changes in my son are too great to call our progress pure co-incidence.

My first night with SleepTalk was one of great emotion for me.  I sat there and out loud said these words and not expecting any comments from my son whilst he slept. When I said: “Mummy loves you”, he replied to me “I love you too mum”, yet he remained asleep.  Joane had mentioned that I may get a reaction but I didn’t really expect that.  It threw me for a moment, and chocking back my emotion I continued with the statements.  So I know he hears me when I do SleepTalk® with him, and it’s nice to know that his sub-conscious is taking these lovely statements in.

Mornings were an issue with my son always sluggish to get started, everything always too much effort. Joane suggested he may have a problem with his sugar levels first thing and suggested that a simple inch or two of watered down fruit juice first thing of a morning might help, followed up with a good breakfast including protein.  WOW!!!!…..what a significant difference we noticed within the first few days.  I found the improvement with my son of a morning also had an impact on me, as his sluggish, grumpy attitude despite my best efforts seemed to get me down. I felt like I was on his case a lot every morning. Now mornings just seem so much more relaxed and we just flow through our routine to get us out the door on time each day.

Other issues that have improved include:
Compulsive Hand Washing: With continual monitoring and re-assurance the problem just disappeared, and we’ve not broached the subject again.

Speech Issues: This was a real distressing issue for me.  To sit back and watch a little person have so much anger and not be able to deal with it, to not really know how to fix it for him because anytime we would try to talk about it with him his anger would accelerate and turn toward us, making it very difficult to work through and help him.  I cried so many tears over this, every time I saw him so distressed, I felt like I was failing him because I couldn’t make it all better, this enhanced my stress levels also and emotionally it drained me.  Other than SleepTalk® there was no other aid we used to deal with his anger and management of, so my son, my relaxed little boy who now talks to me about what’s bothering him and seeks our help when he finds things tough, is a different kid and in extension I am a different mum, more relaxed and stress free.  WOW it feels good!  And I solely thank SleepTalk® for this.

Nightmares:  Particularly since the fires and when reminders of the fires like memorials, smells of smoke and sirens ringing occur.  While the nightmares do subside with time, it only takes one of these reminders to bring them right back again.

The second anniversary of Black Saturday on the 7.2.11 caused some reaction, but right now I’m enjoying having my son back again because at one stage I felt helpless and as though I was losing him to an extent, particularly with his anger issues and for now I’m continuing with SleepTalk® as I believe it has been invaluable to our family and I’m just hoping all continues to go well for us.”

Tantrums / Sibling rivalry / Bed Wetting / Speech /Anger / Confidence & Co-operation

B was 6 years old when Mum commenced SleepTalk® with him. Mum says that B is quite a sensitive boy who relates to nature and enjoys learning about and exploring nature. His older brother J was 16 years old and younger brother A was 2.5 years old at the time. Mum was very interested and motivated to be involved with SleepTalk ® For Children. Mum had concerns with B with several areas; the most prominent being his behaviour, which was often explosive, with yelling, screaming, swearing, kicking and throwing things, and tantrums. B wouldn’t cooperate with Mum when asked to do things (eg packing up the toys before dinner) and became very angry and aggressive quickly. Although B tended to play separately from others, often annoyed his younger brother A, consistently arguing/fighting with him. His older brother didn’t want to play with, B or let B come into his room, and has no patience for him Mum said. B had delayed speech development, which primarily involved enunciation (eg of sounds –  c, f, s, sh, ch), sentence structure, grammar selection (eg l/He/She…. am/was/are). This negatively impacted on B’s communication with others – who often had difficulty understanding what he was trying to say.
B became anxious with changes and new people in his life, sometimes ‘over-reacting’ to these situations, by either crying or becoming overly excited. Although toilet trained now, Mum said that B had no interest in going to the toilet by himself, so at 4 years of age she “really had to make him.” However he was still wearing night nappies (bed wetting).

Mum said that she would also give SleepTalk to A her 2 yo son as well, as he was copying B’s negative behaviour. Spoke with Mum next day who said she felt a bit nervous when giving SleepTalk ® but it all went well.

SleepTalk ® Foundation Process commenced.
Only a week later, Mum was amazed to hear A repeating the script word for word to them (on Mother’s Day!). Within two weeks she could already see some improvement in B’s behaviour, with the aggressive outbursts becoming less frequent each day and B becoming a bit calmer at home. B was listening to her more, and had even stopped and looked at her while she was asking him to pack up the toys one day, which he had never done before. Mum was so amazed that she quickly gave him a cuddle and told him how good he was! Both boys had become more affectionate towards Mum, coming up for no reason and giving her a cuddle, which she loved of course! They were being more affectionate towards dad also.

After the first month of SleepTalk, Mum was very happy to share how much B’s behaviour had improved and the positive effect it had on the whole family – even his older brother had said at the dinner table one night, “I don’t recognise B anymore.” A family day trip which involved quite a bit of driving had been successful Mum reported, without the three boys on the back seat fighting once – “that’s never happened before!”

Second Meeting With Mum.
Vast improvements concerning B’s level of behaviour, confidence, anxiety and happiness were highlighted by Mum who was so happy with the progress that B had made in the previous two months. Generally B remained calm and was dealing with things, with his aggression and anger occurring much less frequently. However these aggressive episodes were more apparent during the previous month when B was suffering from an ear infection. Mum found his behaviour had become more ‘challenging’ again through this time, after being more settled. She was thankful for SleepTalk, to be able to tell him that she loved him when he was quiet at night – and get her through the difficult and stressful times of coping with B’s behaviour each day.

How much B’s level of self confidence and self-esteem had improved became more apparent for Mum when she explained what B was now doing at home. B was cooperating more with Mum, packing up the toys for dinner when asked, often doing so without being asked! Mum said that B wanted to help around the house more, offering to chop up things for meals, setting the table, even got the baked beans out for himself to eat, opened the lid, put them in a saucepan, turned on the hotplate and heated them up – all independently and at 6yo! B had even chosen a new job for himself to do each morning – packing the dried dishes away in the cupboard, and supervised his little brother A to put away the cutlery. He was also sharing and helping his younger brother, playing positively with his older brother who now wanted B’s company and better behaved when in the supermarket. Mum even took the boys on a bus trip to the shops which she said she never would have attempted with B previously due to his behaviour. Mum said that B was more consistent in his behaviour, she could reason with him now and he was more thoughtful and helpful to others.

While B’s behaviour outside the home was not “as silly as before”, being better behaved, he still tended to act silly, as though attention seeking from his friends. Mum said he was never invited to play at his friend’s homes and she thought maybe this could be the reason from their mothers. B’s level of anxiety had reduced when car pooling as he acted calmer, not appearing to be upset by other children’s comments when they couldn’t understand what he was saying. Although Mum was!  B’s sleeping pattern had improved and now went to bed easier when asked, and straight to sleep; sleeping through the night, instead of being awake for quite sometime as previously. However he was still bed wetting.

Mum reported that B was not only more affectionate, but his cuddles, hugs and words of affection were more meaningful and heartfelt. How lovely!

Although Dad had not been taking part in the nightly SleepTalk ® process, he often came to watch and listen to Mum from the doorway of B’s bedroom. He had recognised B’s improved behaviour and level of affection and seemed to be more willing to do things with the boys, eg taking them fishing with him.

Choosing the Primary Area of Need
Three areas of need for B were identified by Mum – his speech, behaviour and toileting (bed wetting). Even though she felt his communication with others, together with his self-confidence, would benefit from improved speech, she explained that as his younger brother had begun to have dry nights and didn’t want to wear night nappies, she believed this was of more importance for B. Whereas before, B was not concerned about wearing a night nappy, she felt that now he wanted not to wet his nappy each night. After discussing what the possible reason/s maybe concerning why B had bed wetting, eg medical, fears, authority figure/s, a specific statement was chosen as the support statement.

By advising Mum that with Dad’s involvement in giving SleepTalk ® to B, not only will it help to accelerate the process, but it will help him with his bed wetting problem.

After only five nights of giving the supporting statement, Mum sms to say that B had his first dry night! Mum was so excited for her son, as well B also – me too!

Pre-school issues, anger, nightmares

June 2010

Dear Joane,

I received the book and CD about a week ago. I have read the book, all except the last 2 chapters, and I have been using it for 6 nights now. I didn’t realise that I should have listened to the CD before beginning, will do that tomorrow (I thought the CD was just the book being read aloud). Anyway, it is still early but it seems to be working! My 5 year old son has been having a few problems at preschool and has been a bit angry and over emotional lately, nightmares etc, so we decided to just work on his confidence and try to increase his sense of security as a first port of call. Today he came up to me and asked me if I was happy (the song “if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands” was on in the background). I told him I was and asked him if he was happy, to which he replied “Yes! I’m happy! I’m clapping!”. Both he and my 6 year old daughter have told me they have also been having happy dreams, which is a big change from a few weeks ago when they were both waking up scared every night.

My daughter also just seems somehow a bit more settled. She has been telling me she loves me over the last few days, which I realised she normally doesn’t do unless I say it first. Today I thought to myself that it seems like she now “feels it in her bones” that I do love her. I also think that doing the process is good for me, I feel like I am on the path to giving them the most important, valuable thing I could ever give them, which is a deep feeling of being alright within themselves. So in that way, I feel like I am on the way to fulfilling the goal I have set myself as a parent, instead of constantly feeling like I’m getting it wrong, and letting the children down. As I say, it is still early days, but so far so good!

I was very interested to read in your book that nightmares are a sign of things not sitting quite right in the child’s subconscious, so my husband and I have been trying to also go over the day with the children before bed and apologise if we have blurted out anything that might have caused them any confusion. It makes so much sense to send them off to sleep having cleared up any misunderstandings, but having it spelled out as it is in your book, has really helped us to focus on that.

I found out about your book from a psychologist and hypnotherapist who saw you speaking at a conference a few years ago, as I mentioned that I was trying to help my children with night terrors. He wrote down your name for me and I followed it up through your website.

Thanks again for writing Joane, I will keep in touch and email your if I have any questions along the way.

Kind regards, SC

Disobedience and Anger

Matthew was a boy aged three years and ten months. His mother complained that he was persistently disobedient at home for the previous six months or so and yet was an “angel” at day-care which he had attended since he was six weeks of age. Mum had been separated for ten months from a violent alcoholic husband and had full custody of Matthew. She was concerned that Matthew had witnessed his father’s violent behaviour and was copying it. He had not seen his father in three months and yet his behaviour was getting worse. Matthew would frequently have temper tantrums about the least little thing. He would then kick and scream and frequently use bad language. When reprimanded he would get so hysterical that she would need to spend a long time calming him down.

I recommended the Goulding SleepTalk® for Children process and explained how to use it. We made an appointment the following week to assess him in play. He seemed very placid and was very likeable. His play had prominent themes of feeding and being fed, perhaps reflecting his insecurity and need to be nurtured. I felt that it would be useful to continue the play therapy in conjunction with SleepTalk®. However, his mother cancelled the next appointment due to work commitments. She returned two weeks later and reported that Matthew was much better. She also felt less anxious about him as she felt more empowered since being able to administer the SleepTalk®. He responded within a week. She made a point of including Matthew’s father in the positive statements.

Summary
Mum was more confident in her role as a mother and agreed to contact me if the need arose. Six months later, I made a routine follow-up and was informed that all was well.