Here are a few of the most frequently asked questions about The Goulding Process – SleepTalk®.
What is The Goulding Process – SleepTalk® ?
SleepTalk® for Children is a process that only takes two minutes of your time and lasts a lifetime for your child. It is a process that is easy to learn and it is a gift to give when your child is in a light sleep. Read more about the Goulding Process SleepTalk®
The Goulding SleepTalk® Process is an alternative and substance-free self-help process for parents coping with a challenging child. Sometimes a lack of knowledge, assistance and/or family support can cause parents to doubt their parenting abilities, feel misunderstood and on a merry-go-round of endless consultations and dead ends.
This process is about presenting a substance-free, safe, non- intrusive and ethical process for parents to use in the safety and comfort of their own home while their child or children are asleep and it’s easy to apply.
The process helps to develop your child’s emotional resilience because all children benefit from developing a positive and confident sense of self. This occurs without disturbing the sleeping child, and allows them to awaken in the morning with a more positive mindset.
It only takes the parents a few moments to present and it’s been called a 2 minute gift with changes that last a life time. Anxiety levels reduce which offers your child the ability to deal with their world. Positive change can start to become apparent after only a few weeks of implementing the process. The Goulding SleepTalk® Process I think has some similarities to the work that Dr. Norman Doidge developed over the past few years which he called ‘Neuroplasticity’.
How can I learn more about the Process?
Parents, Carers & Professionals are welcome to learn more about the Process in one of our “Discover the SleepTalk® Solution” Webinars. These one hour sessions, allow parents to
- Learn the History of the Goulding Process – SleepTalk® & Joane Goulding
- How The 3 Phases of the Process improves, corrects & manages children challenges.
- Why the process works so effectively with all children aged from 2 to 16yrs.
How can I become a Goulding SleepTalk® Parent?
The Goulding Process – SleepTalk® can be taught online or face to face to parents or careers by one of our Accredited Consultants, Trainers or Interns. Please see further information.
Or you can also purchase one of books, E books or audios. As well as our amazing “Parents Streaming Tutorials” allowing busy parents to learn Phase one of our SleepTalk® Protocols.
Is it safe?
The process is safe, ethical and positive. It builds on the underlying self-esteem of the child resulting in behaviour changes and the process is non-intrusive.
What kind of results can I expect?
Your child will have more emotional confidence, resilience against negative suggestions and will be happier thus leading to happier families.
How can I get more information about the process?
- Own your copy of The Goulding Process. Book/CD/MP3/MP4/ E-Book/Workbook
- Visit our International Register to Contact a SleepTalk® Consultant today
- Attend one of our “Discover the SleepTalk® Solution” Webinars
I’ve bought the book so why contact a SleepTalk® consultant?
Great that you have bought the book, both our online parents tutorials, our books & workbooks are all designed to get you started on Phase 1 of our process.
Phase 1 is our foundation & if done correctly will improve childrens general happiness well being, selfe esteems& confidence
However to move into correcting or addressing more advanced challenges with our Phase 2 & 3 stages, guidance from an accredited SleepTalk® consultant will assist with the continued application of the process.
It’s important to realise that following the specific directions and consistency in facilitating the process is very important.
The assistance of a consultant helps the family with the ongoing development and selection of the primary areas of need, developing specific statements and the continued commitment.
Does it matter if only one parent does SleepTalk®?
The Goulding Process – SleepTalk® is less effective if only one parent is involved but only marginally. It would be more efficient if both parents were involved as that balances the energy of the male/female, Mum and Dad component within your child’s perception.
Your child receives their basic self-image, self-worth and sense of balance from both parents and it is most important for the well being of that child to have a sense of acceptance and love from both.
Because it’s important for both parents to be involved with the consistent presentation of the SleepTalk® suggestions, your child may have some concerns when one parent is absent for a short while. The absent parent may consider recording the process to be played once the transference has occurred. Your child will then have the benefit of the parent’s voice until they return.
How would you describe the child who awakens very easily, has difficulty going to sleep, or is often awake throughout the night?
Very anxious. The Goulding SleepTalk® Process should be able to help but it may be difficult the first week or so, to actually access the deep subconscious mind. Your child may be fitful or have difficulty going to sleep, possibly wakes up easily. If you persist in your SleepTalk® process your child will gain a sense of confidence, the anxiety will be reduced each time you use The Goulding SleepTalk® Process because you will be reinforcing their basic self-image and a belief that “it’s OK” and hopefully get a good night’s sleep eventually! By reducing the state of anxiety you compound the amount of suggestion given and accepted by that child. Very gradually, creating a new positive belief system and self-image. A distressed or anxious child will gradually accept the positive suggestions. A quietness and anxiety-free state of mind will develop and gradually they will become more and more able to accept the suggestions. Remember, you can never eliminate a memory, but you can add to it, alter or change the energy of that memory. As you create a compounding effect with a positive suggestion it will eventually become more powerful than the “negative” effect of the “I’m not OK” belief structure.
Would all children benefit from this process?
Most children have problems so yes would be my answer; some parents often say, but my child doesn’t have any problems, however sometimes children don’t share them with anyone, especially not with their parents. I know I didn’t share my problems with my parents and I think many children in this day and age are the same. One of the main advantages or additional aspects about applying this process is the education that the parents gain about the use of positive language. The down line ramifications of change that occurs within the family unit can be quite profound as the process commences to be taken on board.
You talk about negative statements that parents sometimes say. What would you say are some of the worst examples that parents sometimes say to their children?
Most parents that I’ve talked to, admit that sometimes they say things to their child that they don’t mean, or later regret saying. And according to American psychotherapist Antonia Van Der Meer, a parent’s temporary loss of control may, unfortunately mean permanent heartache for the child.
Van Der Meer, states that sometimes when parents come home tired and irritable and discover their daughter or son has again left their books for homework at school, even the most understanding parent may find themselves blurting: “How can you be so stupid?” “When are you going to learn to think?”
Or perhaps taking the children on holiday and all they do is fight with each other, even the most patient parent might ask aloud: “Why did I ever have children”.
He suggests that all parents are bound to lose control occasionally – and lose sight of the fact that their words can make a child feel wounded, rejected or unloved. Whether menacing, negative or hostile statements are said intentionally or just slip out, the result is always the same: you feel temporarily relieved perhaps, but real damage may be done to your little ones self-esteem and the bond of trust between you both.
It’s important to recognize – and resist – saying hurtful things. A parent must learn to handle their own anger and frustration in order to teach a child how to behave.
You know as parents we have all made mistakes when communicating especially to our children. We all need to learn from those mistakes, forgive ourselves, take the learning, leave the negative memory behind, and just move on. I always explain that it’s never too late to learn and that this process gives parents a second chance to redefine the basic self-image of their child and create if you like, a positive believe in place of previously accepted negative ones.
It sounds to me that this process empowers parents to rectify some of those negative suggestions or situations. Would this be correct?
Absolutely and from the moment of birth and now professionals believe before birth, thoughts, feelings, reactions and memories are registered in the deep sub-conscious mind and those memories, with the accompanying thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions will last for life. Suggestions and auto suggestions are very powerful when given to a child especially by someone in authority over them, so parents have a major role in ensuring that their child develops during their early years a positive mindset.
What areas of behavior management can this process assist children with? For example, can it assist Autism or the controversial Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)?
Absolutely, the spectrum is actually very wide and registered SleepTalk® consultants around the world are indicating positive results with a wide range of behavior disorders. Health issues, dealing with education, stress or anxiety are just some of them. Especially children diagnosed with Autism or the Autism Spectrum disorders actually do appear to be responding well to the process. The label ‘Asperger’s’ and ‘Autism’ seem to be very prevalent at the moment and some of the case histories that I’m receiving are reporting major changes in the children’s social skills and behavioral management which is very rewarding.
Another area that is sometimes described as a controversial diagnosis by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders which of course is the (DSM) is the Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). This disorder is sometimes described as an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile and defiant behavior toward authority figures which goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. Children who have it may appear very stubborn and angry. SleepTalk® does appear to be able to assist this area of anxiety. Certainly the ones that I’ve had the pleasure of working with have reported an excellent response with positive changes.
Common features of ODD include excessive, often persistent anger, frequent temper tantrums or angry outbursts, and disregard for authority. Children and adolescents with this disorder often annoy others on purpose, blame others for their mistakes, and are easily annoyed. Parents often observe more rigid and defiant behaviors than in siblings and may appear resentful of others and when someone does something they don’t like they often take revenge on them.
And in order for a child or adolescent to qualify for a diagnosis of ODD these behaviors must cause considerable distress for the family and/or interfere significantly with academic or social functioning. One of the benefits of the Goulding process is the down line ramifications of change that ends up creating change for the entire family. Calmness replaces anger and frustration, co-operation replaces Oppositional defiance.
You mentioned before that positive results with a wide range of behavior disorders are being achieved with the Goulding SleepTalk® process, such as issues dealing with education, stress and anxiety. Tell me about those.
Positive feedback over the past 40 years has been received, some of which are posted on the home website, especially issues dealing with aggression, behaviour management, stress, fear, anxiety and trauma also. The process is particularly helpful when dealing with issues around education and study, co-operation and concentration. Health issues also respond in a positive manner, such as asthma, bed-wetting, nail biting and speech. It also covers and assists families concerned about sibling rivalry and negative communications.
Professor Ian E Brighthope, a very prominent expert based in Australia, has suggested that this process should be adopted by all parents. He has described it as a sensible, practical and easy to follow method of communicating important messages to the subconscious mind. He considers it especially useful for effecting changes to children’s behavior. He suggests that educators and health professionals consider SleepTalk® in the management of all disorders in which the mind plays a significant role.
The process has been described as the 2 minute gift with changes that lasts a life time. Because it’s important for parents to realise that: “Its not what we leave to our children that matters, it’s what we leave within their minds”.
You say the process helps create emotional health. Tell me more.
Emotional health in childhood in my opinion ‘is the key to future happiness’. In Australia a national paper – The Observer reported that Lord Richard Layard – Emeritus professor of economics at the London School of Economics (LSE) and his colleagues at the Wellbeing research program at the LSE Centre conclude that a child’s emotional health is far more important to their satisfaction levels as an adult than other factors. He further states that: “Emotional health in childhood is the key to future happiness.” The LSE study suggests that: “ money, success and good grades are less important.”
Society tells us that education is important; however emotional intelligence and resilience is equally essential for our children. This education and intelligence really starts with babies in the womb who are listening and feeling everything that the mother feels and this can impact healthy brain and body development. How can we have peace in the world without having peaceful happy children? A substance/drug free process taking only 2 minutes a night can help not only your child but also educate parents, who are the catalyst to ensure children develop with a positive mind set.
The process introduces an alternative substance-free model (without contraindications) and educates parents as well as assisting children. Behaviour modification and the development of alternative strategies are developed during sleep, assisting with communication and family dynamics. During sleep the physiological change from a state of deep sleep to wakefulness is reversible and mediated by the reticular activating system (RAS). Research published in ‘Current Biology’ studies show: “that complex stimuli can not only be processed while we sleep but that this information can be used to make decisions, similarly as when we’re awake.”
This 2 minute per night process that parents can offer, reduces anxiety, helps communication and develops positive behaviour modification.
What parents say about SleepTalk® for Children
“To sum up what SleepTalk® did for us, was to take away the stress and worry of an already a very bad situation”. N.S.
“His confidence has improved 100%.” M.F.
“He is going off to school camp soon and has no anxiety at all about sleeping arrangements”. K.C.
What professionals say about SleepTalk® for Children
“SleepTalk® is an invaluable aid for families and therapists in improving family attitudes and intimacy. The program is easily and unobtrusively implemented and can be readily adapted to suit all children and family contexts.”
Professor Ian Brighthope
Fellow of Australasian College of Nutritional and Environmental Medicine
3 Accredited Trainers discuss the process
The following Video discusses parents application of the Process. Presented by:
Beryl Comar – Dubai/Spain, Eugen Popa – Romania,
And recorded by: Nicole Wackernagel – Switzerland
(Includes German Translation)
Visit our Online Shop to purchase Joane’s book and audio: The Goulding SleepTalk® Process